Each year, as Father's Day draws near, I find myself reliving both the pain and the joy brought about 9 years ago. Though we found ourselves in the midst of every parent's worst nightmare; we also found ourselves experiencing God's love and faithfulness, His mercy and grace in a way we would have never known had this circumstance not taken place.
Sometimes I think others believe I live too much in the past. I confess, I often find myself thinking about "momentous events" that have taken place in years gone by. And there are particular days that especially cause my heart and mind to reminisce. However, I don't think this is unhealthy.
God reminds us in Deuteronomy 4: 9 NLT
"Watch out! Be very careful never to forget what you have seen the Lord do for you. Do not let these things escape from your mind as long as you live! And be sure to pass them on to your children and grandchildren."
We are called not only to remember all that He has done but to faithfully pass on from one generation to the next a lifelong reverence for God and His sovereignty. My prayer is that as I look back, I will be reminded of all that God has done in our lives; and remember that He can be trusted for today...as well as for our future. Just as He showed Himself more than sufficient in the past, He will do it again!
"Our children will hear about the wonders of the Lord. His righteous acts will be told to
those yet unborn. They will hear about everything He has done" Psalm 22:30-31 NLT
"O my people, listen to my teaching. Open your ears to what I am saying...I will teach you hidden lessons from our past - stories we have heard and know, stories our ancestors handed down to us. We will not hide these truths from our children but will tell the next generation about the glorious deeds of the Lord. We will tell of His power and the mighty miracles He did....He commanded our ancestors to teach them to their children, so the next generation might know them -- even the children not yet born -- that they in turn might teach their children. So each generation can set its hope anew on God, remembering His glorious miracles and obeying His commands."
Psalm 78: 1-7 NLT
This Father's Day, as I find myself once again remembering the many miracles God has worked in and through not just Aaron, but the entire situation; I also find myself grieving for the family of EF. Our prayer throughout this tragic ordeal was that God would receive glory in and through everyone involved. EF pled guilty to Driving Under the Influence and Assault with a Deadly Weapon. He accepted a plea bargain of 6 years in prison with the possibility of parole after 3 (for good behavior). It has now been 8 years, and EF is still incarcerated. We receive word from the Parole Board every 6 months when he is up for review, and each time he has been denied. It grieves my heart that instead of allowing himself to be drawn to Christ, it seems EF has taken a different path.
Please join us in praying for EF and his family. We can't imagine the pain they must feel as each new holiday passes. We still believe God can work a miracle here, if given the chance.
Also, join us in praising God for His infinite grace...not only is our sweet Aaron alive, but a testimony to God's miraculous healing power!
(By the way, If you have no idea what I am talking about, e-mail me and I'll share Aaron's story with you)
This song has been playing in my head all week and seems to speak our thoughts perfectly!
We Will Remember
Tommy Walker
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JoqV2ucPsaI
We will remember, we will remember
We will remember the works of Your hands
We will stop and give you praise
For great is Thy faithfulness
You’re our creator, our life sustainer
Deliverer, our comfort, our joy
Throughout the ages You’ve been our shelter
Our peace in the midst of the storm
With signs and wonders You’ve shown Your power
With precious blood You showed us Your grace
You’ve been our helper, our liberator
The giver of life with no end
We will remember, we will remember
We will remember the works of Your hands
We will stop and give you praise
For great is Thy faithfulness
When we walk through life’s darkest valleys
We will look back at all You have done
And we will shout, our God is good
And He is the faithful One
Bridge
Hallelujah, hallelujah
To the one from whom all blessings flow
Hallelujah, hallelujah
To the one whose glory has been shown
We will remember, we will remember
We will remember the works of Your hands
We will stop and give you praise
For great is Thy faithfulness
I still remember the day You saved me
The day I heard You call out my name
You said You loved me and would never leave me
And I’ve never been the same
We will remember, we will remember
We will remember the works of Your hands
We will stop and give you praise
For great is Thy faithfulness
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Saturday, June 12, 2010
When Everything Falls Apart
Sorry I'm just now getting around to updating; I've had a sinus infection that kept me down the first part of the week and have been playing catch up ever since.
Ron's appointment with the hematologist/oncologist brought no surprises. Dr. M started him on daily Lovenox (anticoagulant/blood thinner) through his PICC line. It's a little scary since no one (at least they know of) has ever had Lovenox administered this way; so he's starting on a very low dose and has had two blood draws already this week to establish a baseline and to monitor specific (antifactor 10a) level. Because the doctor is also an oncologist they have their own pharmacy, lab, infusion clinic (for chemo) and yet, they've never had this scenario. My sweet husband, always the guinea pig. It's a challenge to be learning these things along with the specialist doctor. The pharmacist even had to research the best way to administer the Lovenox and teach me how to do it.
The major concern is bleeding. The two times they tried Ron on Lovenox (when they had to be injected into his belly), he always had bleeds (hematomas). In these cases, they were visible. Now that the Lovenox is administered through his PICC there are no obvious sites to watch; which means if he were to have bleeding, it would be internally. We're hoping that the previous bleeds, when receiving the injections, were due to the multiple sticks under the skin not because of the Lovenox in and of itself.
The Lovenox therapy is a preventative measure to guard against future blood clots. This does not bust up the existing blood clots; they should resolve over time (usually +/-6 months). When asked why he develops blood clots we were told once you have a blood clot; for some reason, your body tends to develop more.
Dr M also said he doesn't believe that the blood clots are what's causing the edema, but are just a small part of the puzzle.
We're still adjusting to the low potassium diet thing; which has been difficult, mainly because I haven't felt well so haven't taken the time to sit down and figure out recipes to go with these new restrictions therefore, I haven't been cooking much. My major project for this week is to come up with a plan of action. Not that he eats that much, but the things he typically did eat, are (mostly) no longer an option. No big deal, just a matter of adjustment.
So, there ya have it...our week in a nutshell!
Christie
"Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world." John 16:33 New Living Translation
"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified...for the LORD your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you." Deuteronomy 31:6
Great song below
Everything Falls by Fee
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZvjJ9TYA8cE&feature=related
You said You'd never leave or forsake me
When You said, this life is gonna shake me
And You said the world is gonna bring trouble on my soul
This I know
When everything falls apart your arms hold me together
When everything falls apart you're the only hope for this heart
When everything falls apart and my strength is gone
I find you mighty and strong, You keep holding on
You keep holding on
When I see the darkness all around me
When I see that tragedy has found me
I still believe your faithful arms will never let me go
And still I know
When everything falls apart your arms hold me together
When everything falls apart you're the only hope for this heart
When everything falls apart and my strength is gone
I find you mighty and strong, You keep holding on
You keep holding on
Sorrow will last for the night
But hope is rising with the sun, it's rising with the sun
There will be storms in this life
But I know You will overcome, you have overcome
When everything falls apart your arms hold me together
When everything falls apart you're the only hope for this heart
When everything falls apart and my strength is gone
I find you mighty and strong, You keep holding on
You keep holding on
Ron's appointment with the hematologist/oncologist brought no surprises. Dr. M started him on daily Lovenox (anticoagulant/blood thinner) through his PICC line. It's a little scary since no one (at least they know of) has ever had Lovenox administered this way; so he's starting on a very low dose and has had two blood draws already this week to establish a baseline and to monitor specific (antifactor 10a) level. Because the doctor is also an oncologist they have their own pharmacy, lab, infusion clinic (for chemo) and yet, they've never had this scenario. My sweet husband, always the guinea pig. It's a challenge to be learning these things along with the specialist doctor. The pharmacist even had to research the best way to administer the Lovenox and teach me how to do it.
The major concern is bleeding. The two times they tried Ron on Lovenox (when they had to be injected into his belly), he always had bleeds (hematomas). In these cases, they were visible. Now that the Lovenox is administered through his PICC there are no obvious sites to watch; which means if he were to have bleeding, it would be internally. We're hoping that the previous bleeds, when receiving the injections, were due to the multiple sticks under the skin not because of the Lovenox in and of itself.
The Lovenox therapy is a preventative measure to guard against future blood clots. This does not bust up the existing blood clots; they should resolve over time (usually +/-6 months). When asked why he develops blood clots we were told once you have a blood clot; for some reason, your body tends to develop more.
Dr M also said he doesn't believe that the blood clots are what's causing the edema, but are just a small part of the puzzle.
We're still adjusting to the low potassium diet thing; which has been difficult, mainly because I haven't felt well so haven't taken the time to sit down and figure out recipes to go with these new restrictions therefore, I haven't been cooking much. My major project for this week is to come up with a plan of action. Not that he eats that much, but the things he typically did eat, are (mostly) no longer an option. No big deal, just a matter of adjustment.
So, there ya have it...our week in a nutshell!
Christie
"Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world." John 16:33 New Living Translation
"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified...for the LORD your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you." Deuteronomy 31:6
Great song below
Everything Falls by Fee
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZvjJ9TYA8cE&feature=related
You said You'd never leave or forsake me
When You said, this life is gonna shake me
And You said the world is gonna bring trouble on my soul
This I know
When everything falls apart your arms hold me together
When everything falls apart you're the only hope for this heart
When everything falls apart and my strength is gone
I find you mighty and strong, You keep holding on
You keep holding on
When I see the darkness all around me
When I see that tragedy has found me
I still believe your faithful arms will never let me go
And still I know
When everything falls apart your arms hold me together
When everything falls apart you're the only hope for this heart
When everything falls apart and my strength is gone
I find you mighty and strong, You keep holding on
You keep holding on
Sorrow will last for the night
But hope is rising with the sun, it's rising with the sun
There will be storms in this life
But I know You will overcome, you have overcome
When everything falls apart your arms hold me together
When everything falls apart you're the only hope for this heart
When everything falls apart and my strength is gone
I find you mighty and strong, You keep holding on
You keep holding on
Monday, June 7, 2010
Helpless
I've put off writing this update because...well, because truth be told, I'm prideful. And I'm tired of feeling so needy. And I'm weary of this messy season of life we're in.
Yes, I confess, I'm in bondage to PRIDE. I prefer to see myself as a confident, independent woman who can handle life on my own, thank you very much. I can paste a smile on my face with the best of them, and say the right words "I'm good, how are you?"...for a while; then the tiniest of cracks causes the facade to completely crumble.
Now, there's nothing wrong with confidence and independence, but, honestly, there's denial involved in thinking I can do it all on my own.
Rick Warren in The Purpose Driven Life states "I need you, you need me; we need each other". I totally agree with him; but you see, I never thought we'd be dealing with a life-long illness. It's not so bad to have to accept help for a short amount of time, but incredibly humbling when it's long term. Reality is, WE CAN'T do this without you--your financial assistance, your physical help, your emotional support and especially, your spiritual encouragement through prayer.
I KNOW God has called us to be transparent; to share the good and bad, highs and lows of life with you; to publicly put feet to our faith. But, oh, it's hard when it seems to be unending lows. It's hard to think that people open their e-mail and think, good grief...it's Christie again spouting her gloom and doom. However, when we keep what's going on to ourselves, you don't know how to pray for us. So, as I set aside my pride, and let you in on what's going on; I do so with a humble heart.
Ron had abdominal ultrasound and Doppler of lower extremities about 10 days ago. And yes, they found blood clots; some old (and bigger) and some new. We meet with the hematologist/oncologist this Tuesday to come up with a game plan. We know it will involve blood thinners but not sure how it will be administered. Lovenox injections are not an option - he tends to develop hematomas. Oral blood thinners are not an option - due to his digestive issues including the tethering of bowel, his body would not assimilate this medication in a manner that would be safe or beneficial. Heparin injections into his PICC caused potassium and glucose issues (which was a contributor to his episode of unconsciousness Thanksgiving), so that is not an option, either.
I'd be lying to say this doesn't make us anxious. And yes, we know we're to be anxious for nothing and, yes, we know we're not to worry about tomorrow, but we're having a hard time fleshing this out at the moment. No, we're not losing our faith; though some days are harder than others; we know God has a plan...we may not like it or understand it, we may feel battered and bruised but we KNOW our circumstances don't change who God is!
"I will never forget this awful time,
as I grieve over my loss.
Yet I still dare to hope
when I remember this:
The faithful love of the Lord never ends!
His mercies never cease.
Great is His faithfulness;
His mercies begin afresh each morning.
I say to myself, “The Lord is my inheritance;
therefore, I will hope in Him!”
Lamentations 3:20-24 New Living Translation
I had also mentioned in our last update Ron's issues with his blood work over the last couple of months. This is an ongoing problem with last week requiring blood draws on two different days (requiring multiple sticks since PICC wouldn't draw and they had a hard time getting a usable vein); due to high potassium and chloride numbers. Usually TPN can be tweaked to help with little issues that crop up, problem is...he's not receiving any potassium in his TPN so now we're dealing with figuring out how to modify his diet to hopefully bring these numbers down. How do you modify a diet, when the guy hardly eats anything as it is?
Potassium is an electrolyte. Elevated potassium can cause a multitude of issues including arrhythmia, dehydration, muscle weakness, lethargy. You can have elevated potassium if your kidneys (or in Ron's case, kidney) are not filtering properly. And in Ron's case, it's hard to distinguish symptoms since he daily deals with muscle weakness and lethargy and is always in a delicate state of hydration. So far, he has not exhibited any symptoms related to the heart.
As we've tried to adjust his diet, we've found just about everything he exists on is on the high potassium list: protein drinks, Gatorade, instant breakfast, peanut butter, milk. And it seems ironic that all the stuff that's "good" for you...whole grains, fresh veggies and fruits, even fish!...are all things that are high in potassium. UGH!
I'm so very thankful it's summer time so I'm able to be home to deal with these issues. Not exactly how I had hoped to spend my time off, but you do what you have to do, right?
On top of Ron's issues, I've been fighting some kind of a bug with stomach issues, horrendous headache and body aches for the last couple of days but am so glad we went to church anyways this morning. Our associate pastor's sermon "Amazing Grace: My Chains are Gone" really spoke to me about living in bondage..my bondage happens to be to pride...imagine that! And this bondage keeps me from experiencing all that God has for me. We also sang a new worship song, Helpless (lyrics below) that was very appropriate for what we've been going through lately. Thanks, Danny and Wayne.
And I must say, God continues to amaze us. We struggle to live from paycheck to paycheck each month without having ANY room in our budget for unexpected expenses, along with our savings dwindling oh so quickly. We've been fretting over how in the world we're going to pay off Ron's hospital bills and now $1300 for the compressor it took to repair our air conditioner. What a surprise to receive a very unexpected anniversary gift from a couple who on more than one occasion felt impressed to send us a monetary gift (without knowing the financial struggles we were facing at the moment!) Thanks so much for your obedience to bless us in this way! Your faithfulness will help pay for our brand spankin' new compressor!! Oh, how I love a fully functioning air conditioner in the Texas heat!
This is probably filled with alot of rambling but as I've always said, this is more for my benefit than yours! Writing out my thoughts and feelings are my much-needed therapy!
Know that although we've been going through a rough patch; we choose to find joy in life: our nightly board game after dinner, a peaceful summer evening watching the sunset at the lake, the sweet coos and smiles from our precious grandbabies, evening bike rides, time with family just hanging out...we are blessed in so many ways; and never take that for granted.
I'll try to update again after we meet with hematologist/oncologist Tuesday. Please pray for definitive answers to our questions about anti-coagulation (blood thinning) therapy. And pray for us, as we seek to honor God as we walk this path He has laid out for us.
Much love, Christie
Wish I had an audio to go with this but...hope this speaks to your heart as it did mine.
Helpless
I wasn't created to live this life alone;
Made for Your glory, I am not my own.
Lord, Your strength is made perfect in me,
So I'll boast in the weakness I see.
I am helpless, helpless,
And my heart is crying out for You.
Jesus, without Your presence,
There is nothing I can do;
I'm helpless without You.
Lord, in myself I am not enough.
I need Your Spirit; fill me with Your love.
All I am and all that I do
Means nothing at all without You.
I am helpless, helpless,
And my heart is crying out for You.
Jesus, without Your presence,
There is nothing I can do;
I'm helpless without You.
Yes, I confess, I'm in bondage to PRIDE. I prefer to see myself as a confident, independent woman who can handle life on my own, thank you very much. I can paste a smile on my face with the best of them, and say the right words "I'm good, how are you?"...for a while; then the tiniest of cracks causes the facade to completely crumble.
Now, there's nothing wrong with confidence and independence, but, honestly, there's denial involved in thinking I can do it all on my own.
Rick Warren in The Purpose Driven Life states "I need you, you need me; we need each other". I totally agree with him; but you see, I never thought we'd be dealing with a life-long illness. It's not so bad to have to accept help for a short amount of time, but incredibly humbling when it's long term. Reality is, WE CAN'T do this without you--your financial assistance, your physical help, your emotional support and especially, your spiritual encouragement through prayer.
I KNOW God has called us to be transparent; to share the good and bad, highs and lows of life with you; to publicly put feet to our faith. But, oh, it's hard when it seems to be unending lows. It's hard to think that people open their e-mail and think, good grief...it's Christie again spouting her gloom and doom. However, when we keep what's going on to ourselves, you don't know how to pray for us. So, as I set aside my pride, and let you in on what's going on; I do so with a humble heart.
Ron had abdominal ultrasound and Doppler of lower extremities about 10 days ago. And yes, they found blood clots; some old (and bigger) and some new. We meet with the hematologist/oncologist this Tuesday to come up with a game plan. We know it will involve blood thinners but not sure how it will be administered. Lovenox injections are not an option - he tends to develop hematomas. Oral blood thinners are not an option - due to his digestive issues including the tethering of bowel, his body would not assimilate this medication in a manner that would be safe or beneficial. Heparin injections into his PICC caused potassium and glucose issues (which was a contributor to his episode of unconsciousness Thanksgiving), so that is not an option, either.
I'd be lying to say this doesn't make us anxious. And yes, we know we're to be anxious for nothing and, yes, we know we're not to worry about tomorrow, but we're having a hard time fleshing this out at the moment. No, we're not losing our faith; though some days are harder than others; we know God has a plan...we may not like it or understand it, we may feel battered and bruised but we KNOW our circumstances don't change who God is!
"I will never forget this awful time,
as I grieve over my loss.
Yet I still dare to hope
when I remember this:
The faithful love of the Lord never ends!
His mercies never cease.
Great is His faithfulness;
His mercies begin afresh each morning.
I say to myself, “The Lord is my inheritance;
therefore, I will hope in Him!”
Lamentations 3:20-24 New Living Translation
I had also mentioned in our last update Ron's issues with his blood work over the last couple of months. This is an ongoing problem with last week requiring blood draws on two different days (requiring multiple sticks since PICC wouldn't draw and they had a hard time getting a usable vein); due to high potassium and chloride numbers. Usually TPN can be tweaked to help with little issues that crop up, problem is...he's not receiving any potassium in his TPN so now we're dealing with figuring out how to modify his diet to hopefully bring these numbers down. How do you modify a diet, when the guy hardly eats anything as it is?
Potassium is an electrolyte. Elevated potassium can cause a multitude of issues including arrhythmia, dehydration, muscle weakness, lethargy. You can have elevated potassium if your kidneys (or in Ron's case, kidney) are not filtering properly. And in Ron's case, it's hard to distinguish symptoms since he daily deals with muscle weakness and lethargy and is always in a delicate state of hydration. So far, he has not exhibited any symptoms related to the heart.
As we've tried to adjust his diet, we've found just about everything he exists on is on the high potassium list: protein drinks, Gatorade, instant breakfast, peanut butter, milk. And it seems ironic that all the stuff that's "good" for you...whole grains, fresh veggies and fruits, even fish!...are all things that are high in potassium. UGH!
I'm so very thankful it's summer time so I'm able to be home to deal with these issues. Not exactly how I had hoped to spend my time off, but you do what you have to do, right?
On top of Ron's issues, I've been fighting some kind of a bug with stomach issues, horrendous headache and body aches for the last couple of days but am so glad we went to church anyways this morning. Our associate pastor's sermon "Amazing Grace: My Chains are Gone" really spoke to me about living in bondage..my bondage happens to be to pride...imagine that! And this bondage keeps me from experiencing all that God has for me. We also sang a new worship song, Helpless (lyrics below) that was very appropriate for what we've been going through lately. Thanks, Danny and Wayne.
And I must say, God continues to amaze us. We struggle to live from paycheck to paycheck each month without having ANY room in our budget for unexpected expenses, along with our savings dwindling oh so quickly. We've been fretting over how in the world we're going to pay off Ron's hospital bills and now $1300 for the compressor it took to repair our air conditioner. What a surprise to receive a very unexpected anniversary gift from a couple who on more than one occasion felt impressed to send us a monetary gift (without knowing the financial struggles we were facing at the moment!) Thanks so much for your obedience to bless us in this way! Your faithfulness will help pay for our brand spankin' new compressor!! Oh, how I love a fully functioning air conditioner in the Texas heat!
This is probably filled with alot of rambling but as I've always said, this is more for my benefit than yours! Writing out my thoughts and feelings are my much-needed therapy!
Know that although we've been going through a rough patch; we choose to find joy in life: our nightly board game after dinner, a peaceful summer evening watching the sunset at the lake, the sweet coos and smiles from our precious grandbabies, evening bike rides, time with family just hanging out...we are blessed in so many ways; and never take that for granted.
I'll try to update again after we meet with hematologist/oncologist Tuesday. Please pray for definitive answers to our questions about anti-coagulation (blood thinning) therapy. And pray for us, as we seek to honor God as we walk this path He has laid out for us.
Much love, Christie
Wish I had an audio to go with this but...hope this speaks to your heart as it did mine.
Helpless
I wasn't created to live this life alone;
Made for Your glory, I am not my own.
Lord, Your strength is made perfect in me,
So I'll boast in the weakness I see.
I am helpless, helpless,
And my heart is crying out for You.
Jesus, without Your presence,
There is nothing I can do;
I'm helpless without You.
Lord, in myself I am not enough.
I need Your Spirit; fill me with Your love.
All I am and all that I do
Means nothing at all without You.
I am helpless, helpless,
And my heart is crying out for You.
Jesus, without Your presence,
There is nothing I can do;
I'm helpless without You.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Anchoring Deep
My dad loves to tell how when I was a little girl I wasn't one to shy away from adventure. I was the one who would try anything and everything, especially if it involved doing something daring with him...motorcycle stunts, skiing on his legs, hanging onto his neck as he swam when I was too young to swim on my own. Preparation for the adventure of the roller coaster life I'd live as an adult?
I've been working on this post for several days now, but it's been difficult seeing as how I tried to break my fingers, wrist, hand, arm on Monday doing something totally stupid. That awful P-word always gets me in trouble. I was sure I could do something totally out of my league; I'm self-sufficient...I don't need help. HAH! Praise God I "only" hyper-extended tendons in my right hand and forearm. The pain and lack of ability to do much of anything with that hand (including type, so please overlook, typos, etc) are a constant reminder that I am NOT superwoman and need to get over myself and ask for help when I should. As Proverbs 16:18 says "Pride goes before a fall"; in my case, LITERALLY!
Anywho, on to the real update:
Over the last couple of weeks/months Ron's had a few little things crop up; nothing horribly bad, but enough to make me a little nervous that something big was brewing.
It started with labs being slightly off (phosphorous and sodium), no big deal...tweaked TPN. Slight edema (swelling) in legs...not uncommon; yet new labs show slight dehydration, hmm...not quite the norm since swelling usually means excess fluid. Next, PICC (less than a month old) won't draw...ugh! Edema continues despite changes and is actually worse, especially in his left leg...very noticeably. And, of course, he has the chronic indigestion, reflux and yakking.
Dr. A was concerned enough he decided it was time to come in for a face to face consult so we could come up with a new plan of action. His concern is that with all the tweaking things should be much improved, however it's only gotten worse. He's especially concerned this could point to a blood clot, since swelling is increasingly predominant on the left side. So, Dr. A has ordered an ultrasound of Ron's lower extremities and his abdomen, which he will have done today. And what if there is indeed a clot? The only treatment option is blood thinners, specifically Lovenox. This is where we both start to get nervous. We all know would a rough time he's had on the Lovenox.
Ron's situation is always a delicate balance; we are constantly adjusting medications, tracking input and output and monitoring activity. He basically lives with constant infection in his digestive tract, which is a major contributor to the indigestion, reflux and yakking; and just like the rest of us; any kind of infection causes overall yucky feeling as well as weakness, lack of motivation and general lethargy. He takes an antibiotic that is specifically for bacterial infections in the GI system, but can only take it for a week and then has to be off of it for a couple. When he's on it, things are much improved; when he's off...things slowly get worse. This poses another concern for Dr. A; Ron becoming immune to the antibiotic, so he is going to swap the antibiotic for a stronger one that he'll take 7 days, be off 7 days then back on for the next couple of months.
I have to confess; I've had a couple of meltdowns over the last few weeks that left me feeling quite melancholy for a few days. All of these little health issues, along with spending a night with Ron's dad in the ER (he was admitted for 3 days but is doing ok now); at times just seems neverending and quite overwhelming.
Just when we feel there's nothing left to be stripped of; we're hit with something else. I think the icing on the cake was being denied by Presby as a charity case and finding we will owe them a substantial amount of money from Ron's three hospitalizations last fall. It was quite a shock, since they have always approved us in the past but for some reason, we no longer meet their criteria. UGH!
On a good note, Ron finished his semester very strong; making an A in his Anatomy & Physiology and a B in Math. I'm so proud of him! He was also able to ride along with his golfing cronies for the back nine a couple of weeks ago. He played a couple of holes (even birdied one!). Then, May 16th we had a big early 91st birthday bash for Ron's Mom, which included 34 out of 42 immediate family in attendance. Great time together.
Also, in the craziness of the last couple of weeks of school, we have been shopping for our new stovetop and oven which are being generously provided by some very special people. Our house being 30 years old has made it quite the challenge to find anything that will fit it's current cutout dimensions, therefore will need some modification work done before installation. But I'm not complaining...we are incredibly blessed by this couple's generosity and are looking forward to our new appliances.
Yesterday, we celebrated our 31st anniversary. Well, I can't say we celebrated; I don't think me eating leftovers, Ron yakking and both of us being up most of the night due to AC going out is much of a celebration...we memorialized? We plan to do something next week, when life is a little less chaotic and we can really enjoy a date.
Sorry, I don't want this to turn into a pity party. As I said, sometimes it just all seems overwhelming. We really are doing ok. Although we wouldn't be without the firm belief and experience in knowing God is on His throne; nothing takes Him by surprise and He cares about the details of our lives and does have a plan.
"Against all hope, Abraham in hope believed...he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what He promised" Romans 4:18
Hope's power is that we have the energy and desire to go on living because we believe something better is coming.
"We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure." Hebrews 6:19
What does an anchor do? It keeps the ship on course when wind and waves rage against it. The anchor of hope is sunk securely in Christ.
As you can see, we have much need of prayer at the moment; and we covet yours. Thanks faithful ones!
Much love,
Christie
I've been working on this post for several days now, but it's been difficult seeing as how I tried to break my fingers, wrist, hand, arm on Monday doing something totally stupid. That awful P-word always gets me in trouble. I was sure I could do something totally out of my league; I'm self-sufficient...I don't need help. HAH! Praise God I "only" hyper-extended tendons in my right hand and forearm. The pain and lack of ability to do much of anything with that hand (including type, so please overlook, typos, etc) are a constant reminder that I am NOT superwoman and need to get over myself and ask for help when I should. As Proverbs 16:18 says "Pride goes before a fall"; in my case, LITERALLY!
Anywho, on to the real update:
Over the last couple of weeks/months Ron's had a few little things crop up; nothing horribly bad, but enough to make me a little nervous that something big was brewing.
It started with labs being slightly off (phosphorous and sodium), no big deal...tweaked TPN. Slight edema (swelling) in legs...not uncommon; yet new labs show slight dehydration, hmm...not quite the norm since swelling usually means excess fluid. Next, PICC (less than a month old) won't draw...ugh! Edema continues despite changes and is actually worse, especially in his left leg...very noticeably. And, of course, he has the chronic indigestion, reflux and yakking.
Dr. A was concerned enough he decided it was time to come in for a face to face consult so we could come up with a new plan of action. His concern is that with all the tweaking things should be much improved, however it's only gotten worse. He's especially concerned this could point to a blood clot, since swelling is increasingly predominant on the left side. So, Dr. A has ordered an ultrasound of Ron's lower extremities and his abdomen, which he will have done today. And what if there is indeed a clot? The only treatment option is blood thinners, specifically Lovenox. This is where we both start to get nervous. We all know would a rough time he's had on the Lovenox.
Ron's situation is always a delicate balance; we are constantly adjusting medications, tracking input and output and monitoring activity. He basically lives with constant infection in his digestive tract, which is a major contributor to the indigestion, reflux and yakking; and just like the rest of us; any kind of infection causes overall yucky feeling as well as weakness, lack of motivation and general lethargy. He takes an antibiotic that is specifically for bacterial infections in the GI system, but can only take it for a week and then has to be off of it for a couple. When he's on it, things are much improved; when he's off...things slowly get worse. This poses another concern for Dr. A; Ron becoming immune to the antibiotic, so he is going to swap the antibiotic for a stronger one that he'll take 7 days, be off 7 days then back on for the next couple of months.
I have to confess; I've had a couple of meltdowns over the last few weeks that left me feeling quite melancholy for a few days. All of these little health issues, along with spending a night with Ron's dad in the ER (he was admitted for 3 days but is doing ok now); at times just seems neverending and quite overwhelming.
Just when we feel there's nothing left to be stripped of; we're hit with something else. I think the icing on the cake was being denied by Presby as a charity case and finding we will owe them a substantial amount of money from Ron's three hospitalizations last fall. It was quite a shock, since they have always approved us in the past but for some reason, we no longer meet their criteria. UGH!
On a good note, Ron finished his semester very strong; making an A in his Anatomy & Physiology and a B in Math. I'm so proud of him! He was also able to ride along with his golfing cronies for the back nine a couple of weeks ago. He played a couple of holes (even birdied one!). Then, May 16th we had a big early 91st birthday bash for Ron's Mom, which included 34 out of 42 immediate family in attendance. Great time together.
Also, in the craziness of the last couple of weeks of school, we have been shopping for our new stovetop and oven which are being generously provided by some very special people. Our house being 30 years old has made it quite the challenge to find anything that will fit it's current cutout dimensions, therefore will need some modification work done before installation. But I'm not complaining...we are incredibly blessed by this couple's generosity and are looking forward to our new appliances.
Yesterday, we celebrated our 31st anniversary. Well, I can't say we celebrated; I don't think me eating leftovers, Ron yakking and both of us being up most of the night due to AC going out is much of a celebration...we memorialized? We plan to do something next week, when life is a little less chaotic and we can really enjoy a date.
Sorry, I don't want this to turn into a pity party. As I said, sometimes it just all seems overwhelming. We really are doing ok. Although we wouldn't be without the firm belief and experience in knowing God is on His throne; nothing takes Him by surprise and He cares about the details of our lives and does have a plan.
"Against all hope, Abraham in hope believed...he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what He promised" Romans 4:18
Hope's power is that we have the energy and desire to go on living because we believe something better is coming.
"We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure." Hebrews 6:19
What does an anchor do? It keeps the ship on course when wind and waves rage against it. The anchor of hope is sunk securely in Christ.
As you can see, we have much need of prayer at the moment; and we covet yours. Thanks faithful ones!
Much love,
Christie
Sunday, April 18, 2010
2 months and 2 years
Today our sweet girls turned two months old. They go for their checkup on Thursday (they'll actually be 9 weeks then). We're all anxious to see how much they weigh now; scales at home show around 8 1/2 lbs; which means they've almost doubled their weight! Way to go girls! And way to go Mommy!
Ella left; Mila right
Uncle Aaron with Ella
Uncle Aaron and his girls: Mila left, Ella right
Though I've only been a Grammie for 2 months; I feel I've been practicing for this all my life! There are so many great things about being a Grammie...my sweet Ella and Mila, the joy of seeing our eldest being such a wonderful daddy; but, the very best thing about being a Grammie is sharing it with Ella and Mila's Papa.
Not quite 3 years ago, I was grieving the thought of not having him around to share the joy of someday being grandparents together. And now it's been 2 years (today) that my sweet guy was undergoing his BIG major surgery in hopes of giving him the chance at a semi-normal life, which would include the luxury of eating. We knew all along this would be a long, hard road; but we never really thought that 2 years later he'd still be strugging so much. We may be in denial; but we continue to hope and believe it is still possible for him to improve; but in reality, this may be as good as it gets. And what if it is? Well, though we'd like for things to be different...it doesn't change who God is. And we will choose to continue to daily praise Him, trust Him to guide and direct our every step; and be our sufficiency. HE IS ABLE!
We sang one of my favorite Chris Tomlin songs in church this morning that always ministers to me. Scroll to the bottom of the blog and you can listen to it by clicking on my playlist and selecting the song.
I Will Rise
There's a peace I've come to know
Though my heart and flesh may fail
There's an anchor for my soul;
I can say, "It is well."
Jesus has overcome,
And the grave is overwhelmed.
The victory is won;
He is risen from the dead.
I will rise when He calls my name;
No more sorrow, no more pain.
I will rise on eagle's wings,
Before my God, fall on my knees and rise,
I will rise.
There's a day that's drawing near
When this darkness breaks to light,
And the shadows disappear
And my faith shall be my eyes.
Jesus has overcome,
And the grave is overwhelmed.
The victory is won;
He is risen from the dead.
And I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God, fall on my knees
And rise
I will rise
And I hear the voice of many angels sing,
"Worthy is the Lamb"
And I hear the cry of every longing heart,
"Worthy is the Lamb"
And I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God, fall on my knees
And rise
I will rise
Ella left; Mila right
Uncle Aaron with Ella
Uncle Aaron and his girls: Mila left, Ella right
Though I've only been a Grammie for 2 months; I feel I've been practicing for this all my life! There are so many great things about being a Grammie...my sweet Ella and Mila, the joy of seeing our eldest being such a wonderful daddy; but, the very best thing about being a Grammie is sharing it with Ella and Mila's Papa.
Not quite 3 years ago, I was grieving the thought of not having him around to share the joy of someday being grandparents together. And now it's been 2 years (today) that my sweet guy was undergoing his BIG major surgery in hopes of giving him the chance at a semi-normal life, which would include the luxury of eating. We knew all along this would be a long, hard road; but we never really thought that 2 years later he'd still be strugging so much. We may be in denial; but we continue to hope and believe it is still possible for him to improve; but in reality, this may be as good as it gets. And what if it is? Well, though we'd like for things to be different...it doesn't change who God is. And we will choose to continue to daily praise Him, trust Him to guide and direct our every step; and be our sufficiency. HE IS ABLE!
We sang one of my favorite Chris Tomlin songs in church this morning that always ministers to me. Scroll to the bottom of the blog and you can listen to it by clicking on my playlist and selecting the song.
I Will Rise
There's a peace I've come to know
Though my heart and flesh may fail
There's an anchor for my soul;
I can say, "It is well."
Jesus has overcome,
And the grave is overwhelmed.
The victory is won;
He is risen from the dead.
I will rise when He calls my name;
No more sorrow, no more pain.
I will rise on eagle's wings,
Before my God, fall on my knees and rise,
I will rise.
There's a day that's drawing near
When this darkness breaks to light,
And the shadows disappear
And my faith shall be my eyes.
Jesus has overcome,
And the grave is overwhelmed.
The victory is won;
He is risen from the dead.
And I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God, fall on my knees
And rise
I will rise
And I hear the voice of many angels sing,
"Worthy is the Lamb"
And I hear the cry of every longing heart,
"Worthy is the Lamb"
And I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God, fall on my knees
And rise
I will rise
Saturday, April 17, 2010
It's not easy bein' green
Spring is my favorite time of year!
I love waking to the sound of birds calling to each other. I love seeing newborn ducks on the pond near our home. I love the gorgeous display of wildflowers. I love the freshness of spring air (when the pollen count isn't so ridiculously high!). To me, these are reminders of the promise that all things are made new in Him who gives us life.
Along with springtime, comes spring cleaning--including: weeding, trimming, mowing, etc., preparing our lawn and flowerbeds for summer. I really don't mind the yard work...it's fun to see how the hard work now, pays off later (which I can attest to after experiencing a beautiful yard last summer.) Yet, lately, while working in the yard, I find myself daydreaming/wishing for: a sprinkler system, healthy trees, new patio furniture, flowerbeds brimming with an abundance of beautiful flowers (that don't require replanting from year to year), and as long as I'm dreaming, a pool would be nice, too!
As I was spending a typical evening in the yard pulling weeds, God reminded me "you know, it's not easy being green" (and in my sweet, humble spirit I was tempted to respond "YA THINK???") He graciously ignored my attitude and continued "yes, it takes a lot of work to keep the yard and beds looking good. But, remember, you reap what you sow". Then, He got to the crux of the matter..."it's not easy being green with envy, either."
BUSTED!
Yeah...you know what I'm talking about; the whole grass is always greener on the other side mentality. Too often, I find myself not only wanting more, but being jealous of what others have instead of choosing to live in contentment. Yes, I know (well, I don't know from experience, but I've heard) "green" doesn't buy happiness. Many people who are rich in "green" are poor in other ways. They spend their time and money accumulating things yet never truly experience the joy found in relying on Christ and His sufficiency.
Though we may not have much green, we may struggle to live paycheck to paycheck (honestly, I'm always amazed at how it works out each month...on paper, it certainly doesn't!), we may never own our "dream home", drive our "dream car", go on our "dream vacation" or be able to give all we'd like to our children (and now grandchildren); we are incredibly RICH!
We are RICH in the hope we have in Christ; RICH in grace, RICH in love, RICH in generous and faithful family (and friends); RICH in the security that God is with us ALWAYS and He will supply all our needs according to His riches in glory (Phil 4:19).
Yes, we've experienced it time and time again. It's not about how much we do (or don't) have. Our call is to obediently follow wherever He leads; and trust- no matter the circumstance-that He is faithful. He promises to equip us and give us the strength to not just live victoriously, but abundantly as well.
This is our inheritance...this is the legacy we strive to pass down to our children and our children's children. Our desire is to live a life worthy of His call.
Hope you are enjoying your spring as much as I am mine!
Christie
"Godliness with contentment is great gain" I Timothy 6:6
I love waking to the sound of birds calling to each other. I love seeing newborn ducks on the pond near our home. I love the gorgeous display of wildflowers. I love the freshness of spring air (when the pollen count isn't so ridiculously high!). To me, these are reminders of the promise that all things are made new in Him who gives us life.
Along with springtime, comes spring cleaning--including: weeding, trimming, mowing, etc., preparing our lawn and flowerbeds for summer. I really don't mind the yard work...it's fun to see how the hard work now, pays off later (which I can attest to after experiencing a beautiful yard last summer.) Yet, lately, while working in the yard, I find myself daydreaming/wishing for: a sprinkler system, healthy trees, new patio furniture, flowerbeds brimming with an abundance of beautiful flowers (that don't require replanting from year to year), and as long as I'm dreaming, a pool would be nice, too!
As I was spending a typical evening in the yard pulling weeds, God reminded me "you know, it's not easy being green" (and in my sweet, humble spirit I was tempted to respond "YA THINK???") He graciously ignored my attitude and continued "yes, it takes a lot of work to keep the yard and beds looking good. But, remember, you reap what you sow". Then, He got to the crux of the matter..."it's not easy being green with envy, either."
BUSTED!
Yeah...you know what I'm talking about; the whole grass is always greener on the other side mentality. Too often, I find myself not only wanting more, but being jealous of what others have instead of choosing to live in contentment. Yes, I know (well, I don't know from experience, but I've heard) "green" doesn't buy happiness. Many people who are rich in "green" are poor in other ways. They spend their time and money accumulating things yet never truly experience the joy found in relying on Christ and His sufficiency.
Though we may not have much green, we may struggle to live paycheck to paycheck (honestly, I'm always amazed at how it works out each month...on paper, it certainly doesn't!), we may never own our "dream home", drive our "dream car", go on our "dream vacation" or be able to give all we'd like to our children (and now grandchildren); we are incredibly RICH!
We are RICH in the hope we have in Christ; RICH in grace, RICH in love, RICH in generous and faithful family (and friends); RICH in the security that God is with us ALWAYS and He will supply all our needs according to His riches in glory (Phil 4:19).
Yes, we've experienced it time and time again. It's not about how much we do (or don't) have. Our call is to obediently follow wherever He leads; and trust- no matter the circumstance-that He is faithful. He promises to equip us and give us the strength to not just live victoriously, but abundantly as well.
This is our inheritance...this is the legacy we strive to pass down to our children and our children's children. Our desire is to live a life worthy of His call.
Hope you are enjoying your spring as much as I am mine!
Christie
"Godliness with contentment is great gain" I Timothy 6:6
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Tough Love
Been a while since I've updated strictly on what's going on with Ron (and me) so I'm devoting this post completely to us (besides, haven't seen our girls since Easter so don't have any news or pics of them; must remedy that SOON!)
Things have been rockin' along here without much change; other than Ron having issues with his PICC line (which was only 6 weeks old) requiring replacement on Good Friday. What better way to spend a holiday than a little trip to Presby, right? And we had the added bonus of seeing Aaron while in Dallas for the afternoon!
We were so thankful they were able to utilize the same location and replace with a single lumen, as opposed to the double lumen they removed. Now that he only needs blood draws every other week and has not required daily injections of any kind in quite a while; they felt comfortable in downsizing to the single which can be used for cyclical TPN as well as the blood draws. It's frustrating to see that he developed fibrin so quickly this time. I know any time there is a foreign body in our system our natural defenses will do what they are created to do, which is protect; in this case by creating fibrin (clots). Fortunately, this does not interfere with "pushing" TPN or flushes, however once the build up occurs, "drawing" becomes an issue. Unfortunately, as long as he is on TPN, this is a battle he will continue to fight. We're praying this one will last much longer.
Ron continues to take 2 classes at Tarrant County College; .
His schedule is:
Monday: 10AM-noon Anatomy & Physiology lab; 6PM-7:20PM A&P lecture
Tuesday: 2:00-3:20PM Pre-Algebra
Wednesday: 6-7:20 PM A&P lecture
Thursday: 2:00-3:20PM Pre-Algebra
He enjoys taking the classes and the mental interaction is great for him. However, it pretty much takes all of his time and energy to participate in the classes and keep up with the homework.
Home health comes weekly to do PICC line dressing change, and draw labs every other week. His meds remain the same however he had to add Metronidazole (antibiotic that specifically battles intestinal bacteria) for a week and Dr. A had to tweak his TPN due to elevated sodium and phosphorous this week.
He still lacks much stamina/energy and most often yaks on a daily basis. He desires the enjoyment of eating, the socialization of it, but the consequences aren't fun; therefore he pretty much dreads eating. Then again, it doesn't seem to matter if he eats, he yaks either way. I can't imagine dealing with that stomachache that causes a bloated, nauseous feeling all day every day, regardless of what he does; poor guy. He's a trooper, though, and rarely complains.
Having a "laid back" personality is one of Ron's biggest assets. He's always been a go-with-the-flow, take life as it comes kind of guy. This trait is what has gotten him through this seemingly never-ending ordeal. Unfortunately, this same trait easily becomes his greatest enemy. He has become quite lackadaisical.
A couple of months ago it became evident it was time to implement some "tough love". One of my sweet co-workers brought to my attention that my constant reminders and "doing for" Ron may subconsciously be robbing him of his dignity; while also putting the added responsibility of not only being his wife, but basically his world, on my shoulders.
Ron's an adult, capable of making choices for himself. If he chooses not to do those things he knows to do (take meds in a timely manner, daily physical therapy, etc) then it's up to him to deal with the consequences. This has been VERY HARD; especially since those consequences affect both of us!!!
And, yes, I know, Ron's quite spoiled! By his own admission, he likes for me to remind/do for him and one of my greatest joys in life has always been to care for my husband and children. But I think I've created a monster! My guy tends to only do what he wants to do and it's important that he begin to take ownership. Don't worry, we haven't been doing this cold turkey. I've slowly been relinquishing (read forcing on him!) some of these duties. Where it used to be "here are your meds", "time to do your physical therapy", let's go for a walk, now", "here's you some juice". I'm now struggling to keep my mouth shut and not ask: "Did you remember to take your meds? Did you do your physical therapy? Have you gone for a walk today? Had anything to drink lately? What have you eaten today? Isn't it time to get TPN ready?", etc.
Though I'd been trying to take it slowly, it is now time to get hard core. As difficult as it has been, it's time for me to give up this juggling routine and have him be accountable for self-care, along with daily living activities. And believe me, it's been HARD; especially when I KNOW he hasn't taken his meds or done his physical therapy, etc.
Please don't think I'm ragging on my husband. that is not my intent at all! Just giving you a glimpse into our world. And, might I remind you, God is the king of tough love! Just take a look at the old testament and remember, due to lack of obedience, how many of the bazillion Israelites actually were allowed to enter the promised land ? Now, I'm not trying to set myself up as God...no way! Just sayin', I'm in good company here. And don't worry, I don't plan on banishing Ron or anything that drastic if he doesn't follow through.
On another note, I'm really proud Ron's been trying to step out in faith a little more and has started attending a men's breakfast every Friday morning at 6:30 AM. I thought he was crazy when he told me he'd signed up for this one in particular after the men's conference. He doesn't sleep well due to all his reflux issues and I was concerned about the early morning; why not choose one that meets at another time? However, he was determined. He's enjoying it immensely, however, the cost is he spends the rest of Friday recuperating from the early hour/lack of sleep! Oh, well, gotta start somewhere, right?
During this time of adjustment I'm claiming (for both of us):
"I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength" Phil 4:13
Things have been rockin' along here without much change; other than Ron having issues with his PICC line (which was only 6 weeks old) requiring replacement on Good Friday. What better way to spend a holiday than a little trip to Presby, right? And we had the added bonus of seeing Aaron while in Dallas for the afternoon!
We were so thankful they were able to utilize the same location and replace with a single lumen, as opposed to the double lumen they removed. Now that he only needs blood draws every other week and has not required daily injections of any kind in quite a while; they felt comfortable in downsizing to the single which can be used for cyclical TPN as well as the blood draws. It's frustrating to see that he developed fibrin so quickly this time. I know any time there is a foreign body in our system our natural defenses will do what they are created to do, which is protect; in this case by creating fibrin (clots). Fortunately, this does not interfere with "pushing" TPN or flushes, however once the build up occurs, "drawing" becomes an issue. Unfortunately, as long as he is on TPN, this is a battle he will continue to fight. We're praying this one will last much longer.
Ron continues to take 2 classes at Tarrant County College; .
His schedule is:
Monday: 10AM-noon Anatomy & Physiology lab; 6PM-7:20PM A&P lecture
Tuesday: 2:00-3:20PM Pre-Algebra
Wednesday: 6-7:20 PM A&P lecture
Thursday: 2:00-3:20PM Pre-Algebra
He enjoys taking the classes and the mental interaction is great for him. However, it pretty much takes all of his time and energy to participate in the classes and keep up with the homework.
Home health comes weekly to do PICC line dressing change, and draw labs every other week. His meds remain the same however he had to add Metronidazole (antibiotic that specifically battles intestinal bacteria) for a week and Dr. A had to tweak his TPN due to elevated sodium and phosphorous this week.
He still lacks much stamina/energy and most often yaks on a daily basis. He desires the enjoyment of eating, the socialization of it, but the consequences aren't fun; therefore he pretty much dreads eating. Then again, it doesn't seem to matter if he eats, he yaks either way. I can't imagine dealing with that stomachache that causes a bloated, nauseous feeling all day every day, regardless of what he does; poor guy. He's a trooper, though, and rarely complains.
Having a "laid back" personality is one of Ron's biggest assets. He's always been a go-with-the-flow, take life as it comes kind of guy. This trait is what has gotten him through this seemingly never-ending ordeal. Unfortunately, this same trait easily becomes his greatest enemy. He has become quite lackadaisical.
A couple of months ago it became evident it was time to implement some "tough love". One of my sweet co-workers brought to my attention that my constant reminders and "doing for" Ron may subconsciously be robbing him of his dignity; while also putting the added responsibility of not only being his wife, but basically his world, on my shoulders.
Ron's an adult, capable of making choices for himself. If he chooses not to do those things he knows to do (take meds in a timely manner, daily physical therapy, etc) then it's up to him to deal with the consequences. This has been VERY HARD; especially since those consequences affect both of us!!!
And, yes, I know, Ron's quite spoiled! By his own admission, he likes for me to remind/do for him and one of my greatest joys in life has always been to care for my husband and children. But I think I've created a monster! My guy tends to only do what he wants to do and it's important that he begin to take ownership. Don't worry, we haven't been doing this cold turkey. I've slowly been relinquishing (read forcing on him!) some of these duties. Where it used to be "here are your meds", "time to do your physical therapy", let's go for a walk, now", "here's you some juice". I'm now struggling to keep my mouth shut and not ask: "Did you remember to take your meds? Did you do your physical therapy? Have you gone for a walk today? Had anything to drink lately? What have you eaten today? Isn't it time to get TPN ready?", etc.
Though I'd been trying to take it slowly, it is now time to get hard core. As difficult as it has been, it's time for me to give up this juggling routine and have him be accountable for self-care, along with daily living activities. And believe me, it's been HARD; especially when I KNOW he hasn't taken his meds or done his physical therapy, etc.
Please don't think I'm ragging on my husband. that is not my intent at all! Just giving you a glimpse into our world. And, might I remind you, God is the king of tough love! Just take a look at the old testament and remember, due to lack of obedience, how many of the bazillion Israelites actually were allowed to enter the promised land ? Now, I'm not trying to set myself up as God...no way! Just sayin', I'm in good company here. And don't worry, I don't plan on banishing Ron or anything that drastic if he doesn't follow through.
On another note, I'm really proud Ron's been trying to step out in faith a little more and has started attending a men's breakfast every Friday morning at 6:30 AM. I thought he was crazy when he told me he'd signed up for this one in particular after the men's conference. He doesn't sleep well due to all his reflux issues and I was concerned about the early morning; why not choose one that meets at another time? However, he was determined. He's enjoying it immensely, however, the cost is he spends the rest of Friday recuperating from the early hour/lack of sleep! Oh, well, gotta start somewhere, right?
During this time of adjustment I'm claiming (for both of us):
"I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength" Phil 4:13
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Happy Easter ~ Happy Due Date
Yes, today was Stacee's official due date! And yet, our sweet girls are now 6 1/2 weeks old! But, as Psalm 139 reminds us "You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed."
They are definitely growing (notice the chubby cheeks in the pics below); they're developing their lungs (they can get quite vocal!); they are having wakeful periods and they are really beginning to develop strong neck muscles. Their feeding schedule is still every 3 hours during the day but at night they have one 5 hour stretch and then another 4-5 hour stretch; and they are now able to handle increased intake amount.
We had a great first Easter with them...but then again, any day spent with them is great!
Enjoy the pictures!
Hmmm...do you think Ella looks much like her Daddy? (photo of Ryan at 2 months)
GG'ma (Grammie Christie's ~ mom) with Mila; Ella with Mommy
Ella ~ GG'ma, have I got stories to tell you!
GG'ma and her great granddaughters; Ella left, Mila right
Four generations of girls! Ella, left & Mila, right; Stacee; Grandma Diana and Grammie Christie; and GG'ma (Great G'ma Doucet)
Our sweet little hunny bunnies! Mila, left; Ella, right!
Mila in her Easter dress
Alright, Uncle Aaron; you gotta pay to play!
Ella (left) ~ Hey, Mila, Uncle Aaron's the best, isn't he? Mila ~ Yeah, and we'll have him wrapped around our little fingers in no time!
Mila (left) ~ Hey, Ella, what's with these goofy ears they keep trying to put on us?
Mila, left; Ella right ~ If we humor them for a few pics, maybe then they'll leave us alone
Ella
Ella
Mila left, Ella right (their little jammies say Womb mates ~ complements of Aunt Patti!)
Mommy, we've had enough ~ call off the paparazzi!
They are definitely growing (notice the chubby cheeks in the pics below); they're developing their lungs (they can get quite vocal!); they are having wakeful periods and they are really beginning to develop strong neck muscles. Their feeding schedule is still every 3 hours during the day but at night they have one 5 hour stretch and then another 4-5 hour stretch; and they are now able to handle increased intake amount.
We had a great first Easter with them...but then again, any day spent with them is great!
Enjoy the pictures!
Hmmm...do you think Ella looks much like her Daddy? (photo of Ryan at 2 months)
GG'ma (Grammie Christie's ~ mom) with Mila; Ella with Mommy
Ella ~ GG'ma, have I got stories to tell you!
GG'ma and her great granddaughters; Ella left, Mila right
Four generations of girls! Ella, left & Mila, right; Stacee; Grandma Diana and Grammie Christie; and GG'ma (Great G'ma Doucet)
Our sweet little hunny bunnies! Mila, left; Ella, right!
Mila in her Easter dress
Alright, Uncle Aaron; you gotta pay to play!
Ella (left) ~ Hey, Mila, Uncle Aaron's the best, isn't he? Mila ~ Yeah, and we'll have him wrapped around our little fingers in no time!
Mila (left) ~ Hey, Ella, what's with these goofy ears they keep trying to put on us?
Mila, left; Ella right ~ If we humor them for a few pics, maybe then they'll leave us alone
Ella
Ella
Mila left, Ella right (their little jammies say Womb mates ~ complements of Aunt Patti!)
Mommy, we've had enough ~ call off the paparazzi!
Thursday, April 1, 2010
6 weeks of twin bliss!
Yes, it's true ~ our girls are 6 weeks old and yet we still haven't reached their gestational due date. They were officially due Sunday, April 4; instead, we'll celebrate this Easter Sunday with them at home.
Sorry, no 6 week pictures yet; but enjoy these previously unseen pictures, and the walk down memory lane!
Ella & Mila with POOH! 5 weeks
Daddy and his girls 4 1/2 weeks
Our little sweethearts! Mila left, Ella right (4 weeks)
First doctor visit
Snug as bugs in rugs!
March 9 - Finally home!
1 week old, Ella left, Mila right
Ella's first day in crib, 6 days old
Mila 6 days old
Ella, left, & Mila, right 1 week old
Mila soakin' up some rays
4 days old ~ so serious
1st time together again ~ 4 days old
We love you, sweet girls!
Sorry, no 6 week pictures yet; but enjoy these previously unseen pictures, and the walk down memory lane!
Ella & Mila with POOH! 5 weeks
Daddy and his girls 4 1/2 weeks
Our little sweethearts! Mila left, Ella right (4 weeks)
First doctor visit
Snug as bugs in rugs!
March 9 - Finally home!
1 week old, Ella left, Mila right
Ella's first day in crib, 6 days old
Mila 6 days old
Ella, left, & Mila, right 1 week old
Mila soakin' up some rays
4 days old ~ so serious
1st time together again ~ 4 days old
We love you, sweet girls!
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Grandma's Here!!! & 5 Weeks Old
Mila ~ the shirt says it all!
Grandma arrived from Florida today. We are so glad she'll get to hang out with us for the next couple of weeks. She brought lots of goodies, including Easter stuff and some really cute clothes! Wow, if we get this much stuff for 5 weeks, just think what 5 years will be like!
Grandma gettin' in some double lovin'! Ella left, Mila right
Grandma and Mila
All this excitement wears a girl out ~ Ella snuggled in to Mommy
Grandma arrived from Florida today. We are so glad she'll get to hang out with us for the next couple of weeks. She brought lots of goodies, including Easter stuff and some really cute clothes! Wow, if we get this much stuff for 5 weeks, just think what 5 years will be like!
Grandma gettin' in some double lovin'! Ella left, Mila right
Grandma and Mila
All this excitement wears a girl out ~ Ella snuggled in to Mommy
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