Well, our Nordell Christmas vacation was a success, but the recovery has been hard; with yesterday being an especially rough one. Ron was exceptionally lethargic yesterday after a sleepless night (due to severe reflux which culminated in a puking episode early in the morning.) He continued to feel puny all day nausea and stomachache on top of a really BAD headache. I couldn't get him to drink or eat anything and was having visions of spending another holiday at Presby. Thankfully, his temperature and blood pressure were both normal so I was trying not to get overly concerned. He slept off and on ALL DAY and just looked bad. He did get up for a while in the evening and I convinced him to eat some eggs and toast but then back to the recliner and sleep. He's still sleeping this morning, but I'm hoping today will be a better day.
Needless to say, my plans to whip him back into shape have fallen by the wayside! But I'll take a little backslide any day, as long as it doesn't land us back at Presby (not that there's anything wrong with it!; just not how I'd like to spend my time this holiday season...or any other time, really)
So, it's been rather quiet around here. I'd like to say I've spent this time getting alot of those things on my never-ending "to do" list accomplished, but.....I've been rather lazy; just trying to take care of my guy. I do need to get busy, tho; there's much to do before I head back to work Monday, most importantly thank you notes! Yes, I'm still trying to get those out and no, I have not forgotten any of you (at least I hope my records are straight!)
As you celebrate the beginning of this New Year; know you are ever in our thoughts and prayers! Please pray this will be a "medically uneventful" year for us!
Love, Christie & Ron
"May the Lord of peace Himself always give you His peace no matter what happens. The Lord be with you all." 2 Thessalonians 3: 16 NLT
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Catching up...
The last couple of weeks before Christmas were very hectic. Alot of things going on with no time to keep everyone up to date. So, I'll try to catch you up...
Ron hit a pretty rough time about a week before we were to leave for our Christmas vacation. And honestly, I was beginning to doubt the wisdom of going. Extreme fatigue, weakness, increased reflux and regurgitation, as well as continued weight loss. Results from his routine blood work showed a marked increase in his white blood cell count (19,000) which led to orders for a CT scan to check out abdomen, pelvis and chest.
The timing of the CT on Wednesday, December 17, worked out well; we had plans to take Christmas snacks up to the nurses at Presby on that day so we were able to take care of both things at the same time! It was great to be able to bless these wonderful nurses who ministered to Ron (as well as our entire family!) for so long with such professionalism, care and compassion. They hold a very special place in our hearts. It was a very rough day on him but he was determined to stick it out.
We also saw Dr. Shires and he reminded us "the rule of thumb for rehab after a lengthy illness is 3 days for every day in hospital. So you're still looking at a good 21 months or so". I know we've been told this before, but it's still hard to hear; especially for Ron. And as we talked about it later, he admitted it was very discouraging, but he did agree at least it's good to know that his lack of energy and his extreme fatigue is not unexpected or out of the ordinary. As hard as it is to imagine, he's still got a very lengthy healing process ahead.
We received CT results Friday before we left which showed "no abscess or infection in the chest, pelvis or abdomen. And no abdominal abscess, inflammation, kinking or blockage" All good news. (Another blood workup was done before we left town and white blood count had considerably decreased, now at a slightly elevated level of 11,000) .
Reflux and regurgitation comes and goes. Extreme fatigue goes without saying. For instance, after going to church, he has to come home and take a 2 hour (or more) nap. I also know he doesn't interact with others because it requires so much expended energy it's exhausting. If you notice, his entire posture looks very stiff (especially the way he holds his hands at an odd angle) which is caused by muscle fatigue and tightness. And he often struggles with difficulty sleeping at night.
He did pretty well on our Christmas vacation; some sinking spells and a few puking episodes but overall it was a good trip. It was great for him to be surrounded by his family. And of course there was plenty of family there! As well as lots of great food to try to fatten him up a little! Only one afternoon did things get really bad and he had to give in to a few hours in bed and a little bit of a pity party, but who can blame the guy???
Ron has spent today sleeping off and on; I'm trying to cut him some slack and have only forced him out for one walk and a short trip to the grocery store. But tomorrow, I'm hoping to start whipping him back into shape! (At least get him back into a more consistent sleeping, eating and physical therapy schedule).
Keep praying....God hears and answers!
Ron hit a pretty rough time about a week before we were to leave for our Christmas vacation. And honestly, I was beginning to doubt the wisdom of going. Extreme fatigue, weakness, increased reflux and regurgitation, as well as continued weight loss. Results from his routine blood work showed a marked increase in his white blood cell count (19,000) which led to orders for a CT scan to check out abdomen, pelvis and chest.
The timing of the CT on Wednesday, December 17, worked out well; we had plans to take Christmas snacks up to the nurses at Presby on that day so we were able to take care of both things at the same time! It was great to be able to bless these wonderful nurses who ministered to Ron (as well as our entire family!) for so long with such professionalism, care and compassion. They hold a very special place in our hearts. It was a very rough day on him but he was determined to stick it out.
We also saw Dr. Shires and he reminded us "the rule of thumb for rehab after a lengthy illness is 3 days for every day in hospital. So you're still looking at a good 21 months or so". I know we've been told this before, but it's still hard to hear; especially for Ron. And as we talked about it later, he admitted it was very discouraging, but he did agree at least it's good to know that his lack of energy and his extreme fatigue is not unexpected or out of the ordinary. As hard as it is to imagine, he's still got a very lengthy healing process ahead.
We received CT results Friday before we left which showed "no abscess or infection in the chest, pelvis or abdomen. And no abdominal abscess, inflammation, kinking or blockage" All good news. (Another blood workup was done before we left town and white blood count had considerably decreased, now at a slightly elevated level of 11,000) .
Reflux and regurgitation comes and goes. Extreme fatigue goes without saying. For instance, after going to church, he has to come home and take a 2 hour (or more) nap. I also know he doesn't interact with others because it requires so much expended energy it's exhausting. If you notice, his entire posture looks very stiff (especially the way he holds his hands at an odd angle) which is caused by muscle fatigue and tightness. And he often struggles with difficulty sleeping at night.
He did pretty well on our Christmas vacation; some sinking spells and a few puking episodes but overall it was a good trip. It was great for him to be surrounded by his family. And of course there was plenty of family there! As well as lots of great food to try to fatten him up a little! Only one afternoon did things get really bad and he had to give in to a few hours in bed and a little bit of a pity party, but who can blame the guy???
Ron has spent today sleeping off and on; I'm trying to cut him some slack and have only forced him out for one walk and a short trip to the grocery store. But tomorrow, I'm hoping to start whipping him back into shape! (At least get him back into a more consistent sleeping, eating and physical therapy schedule).
Keep praying....God hears and answers!
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Merry Christmas from Hyatt Lost Pines Resort!
It's our year to do a big Nordell Christmas and Mom & Dad Nordell are graciously treating the group to a 5 day stay at the beautiful Hyatt Lost Pines Resort, down outside of Austin. It's been so good to get away and enjoy time with family in a relaxing setting. We've made s'mores around the campfire while listening to singing cowboys; drove in to Austin for the Trail of Lights in Zilker Park with Ron in wheelchair, bundled up with blankets, taken walks around the grounds and the girls have enjoyed the fitness facility, hot tubs and even the pool--the outdoor pool is heated to 85 and it's great!
And yes, way before leaving we received instructions from Dr. A where to go in case any problems arise. He even has friends on staff at the hospital down in Austin he will contact if needed. How blessed we are to have such caring, proactive doctors!
Only problem we've had thus far has been totally my fault (although completely accidental!)....we convinced Ron to join us for horseshoes and be my partner (bad idea to begin with...I'm awful at horseshoes!). At one point he was watching the game in the pit next to us, one of my wonderful throws took a bad bounce, hit his calf--gouging his leg making it bleed quite a bit and putting a huge goose egg on it! I felt awful!!! Being the trooper he is, he played through the pain and says it's ok today.
After gifts with our small family, and a plethora of stocking stuffers with all 19 Nordell's in attendance; we enjoyed a huge Christmas feast and then we all headed to the golf course to ride along with those who were playing. It was glorious to see Ron back in his element, although it was bittersweet for him. He enjoyed it tremendously, but it also made him miss it even more. He did try swinging a club on the driving range and managed to shank a few before giving out. The smile on his face as he swung the club was priceless! He also drove the golf cart (first driving of any kind in almost 15 months) around a portion of the course.
I'll try to get pictures up soon!
Christmas blessings to you and yours!
Christie
And yes, way before leaving we received instructions from Dr. A where to go in case any problems arise. He even has friends on staff at the hospital down in Austin he will contact if needed. How blessed we are to have such caring, proactive doctors!
Only problem we've had thus far has been totally my fault (although completely accidental!)....we convinced Ron to join us for horseshoes and be my partner (bad idea to begin with...I'm awful at horseshoes!). At one point he was watching the game in the pit next to us, one of my wonderful throws took a bad bounce, hit his calf--gouging his leg making it bleed quite a bit and putting a huge goose egg on it! I felt awful!!! Being the trooper he is, he played through the pain and says it's ok today.
After gifts with our small family, and a plethora of stocking stuffers with all 19 Nordell's in attendance; we enjoyed a huge Christmas feast and then we all headed to the golf course to ride along with those who were playing. It was glorious to see Ron back in his element, although it was bittersweet for him. He enjoyed it tremendously, but it also made him miss it even more. He did try swinging a club on the driving range and managed to shank a few before giving out. The smile on his face as he swung the club was priceless! He also drove the golf cart (first driving of any kind in almost 15 months) around a portion of the course.
I'll try to get pictures up soon!
Christmas blessings to you and yours!
Christie
Thursday, December 11, 2008
The Warrior is a Child
Thanks for your comments and words of encouragement! Please know we are not walking around constantly down and depressed. Yes, it's difficult and we have times we feel we want to throw in the towel, but we also know we have a Mighty God we can always rely on, not just when the battle gets to be overwhelming. He is with us ALWAYS....in reality, this battle belongs to Him! And we are blessed by you, our ever-faithful prayer warriors!
Music has a way of stirring my soul and this song has been playing in my heart and mind for months now...one of our anthems of sorts.
Warrior is a Child
Twila Paris
Lately I've been winning battles left and right
But even winners can get wounded in the fight
People say that I'm amazing
Strong beyond my years
But they don't see inside of me
I'm hiding all the tears
(Chorus)
They don't know
that I go running home when I fall down
They don't know
who picks me up when no one is around
I drop my sword and cry for just a while
'Cause deep inside this armour
The warrior is a child
Unafraid because his armour is the best
But even soldiers need a quiet place to rest
People say that I'm amazing
Never face retreat
But they don't see the enemies
That lay me at His feet
They don't know
that I go running home when I fall down
They don't know
who picks me up when no one is around
I drop my sword and look up for His smile
Because deep inside this armour
Deep inside this armour
Deep inside this armour
The Warrior is a Child
(I pray it is evident to everyone we come in contact with Who we go running home to!!)
Much love!
Christie
Music has a way of stirring my soul and this song has been playing in my heart and mind for months now...one of our anthems of sorts.
Warrior is a Child
Twila Paris
Lately I've been winning battles left and right
But even winners can get wounded in the fight
People say that I'm amazing
Strong beyond my years
But they don't see inside of me
I'm hiding all the tears
(Chorus)
They don't know
that I go running home when I fall down
They don't know
who picks me up when no one is around
I drop my sword and cry for just a while
'Cause deep inside this armour
The warrior is a child
Unafraid because his armour is the best
But even soldiers need a quiet place to rest
People say that I'm amazing
Never face retreat
But they don't see the enemies
That lay me at His feet
They don't know
that I go running home when I fall down
They don't know
who picks me up when no one is around
I drop my sword and look up for His smile
Because deep inside this armour
Deep inside this armour
Deep inside this armour
The Warrior is a Child
(I pray it is evident to everyone we come in contact with Who we go running home to!!)
Much love!
Christie
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Been a while...
...what can I say??? It's hard to keep reporting the same things over and over.
First off, one year ago today Ron had another emergency surgery. I remember so clearly being in Ron's room as they were preparing to rush him back down to ICU (still at HEB at this point) because he was having another crash. The tube feed was causing stool to leak into his abdominal cavity which once again caused sepsis. And on top of this, his blood sugar had gotten dangerously low so they were injecting glucose as he was being wheeled to ICU. Pastor Tommy and Danny had just arrived and we asked everyone to stop long enough for us to pray over Ron. Afterwards, one of the nurses' said "we are born again believers, too"! What a sweet encouragement, to have his caregiver's join us in this way.
Dr. E had to clean out his abdominal cavity and in the process also found a very large hematoma in his chest cavity. This chain of events confirmed it would be in Ron's best interest to transfer to Presbyterian, which took place 4 days later.
Now, to catch you up on the last 10 days:
For those of you who talk to my husband, let me tell you (and I say this with the utmost love and respect)...he's trying to be politically correct! (My politically correct way of saying he's a liar!) If you ask him how he's feeling, he'll tell you what you want to hear: "I'm good" "doing well" "getting better", etc. If you want to know the real scoop, ask me!
Reality:
Ron continues to experience extreme fatigue and has been having difficulty sleeping again which doesn't help matters--makes his muscles feel like rubber bands, and keeps his brain in a fog, along with a multitude of other side effects. Last week, sleeping problems were caused by belly being very tight, therefore, he couldn't get comfortable so waking sporadically and then took a while to go back to sleep. Belly tightness had gotten better, but last week he had a very hard sneeze that "felt like it pulled something". Had excruciating pain for about 24 hours, even back to taking hydrocodone for a couple of days (obviously, we had to discontinue PT.)
To me, he seems to have gone backwards. He had been V-E-R-Y S-L-O-W-L-Y progressing but since his last hospital stay in October, he's just never seemed to get back to where he was...then, of course, the wedding was hard on him, as well as Thanksgiving festivities.
Reflux had been somewhat better, but in the last week has gotten really bad again; bringing with it, more regurgitation. And even though his appetite has increased , his weight has not; he has actually lost 4 more pounds, Honestly, I've been a little concerned.
We had an appointment with Dr. A today and he is very concerned with the weight issue in particular; and other issues as well. Therefore, we are adjusting some of his meds. Dr. A wants to once again start the process of slowly decreasing steroid, so I'm on the alert for increased weakness & puny-ness these next few days.
AND, if things don't improve and he doesn't start gaining weight, he'll have to be put back on TPN. Not something any of us (including Dr. A) wants but he cannot continue to go backwards.
Dr. A also thinks he may have thrush in his esophagus, which could be causing the increased reflux, so he's back on the Nystatin (that lovely swish and swallow) for the next 3 days...if it is Thrush, we should see a difference in this amount of time. He also said it's a good thing Ron wasn't still on Lovenox (blood thinner) or the hard sneeze would have caused another huge hematoma. And, now that the pain has gotten better, he wants Ron to start back on physical therapy. He is also increasing antidepressant and wants him sipping on nutritional drinks throughout the day so that he's getting a trickle of protein and other nutrients between regular meals.
Please pray that the combination of all of these changes will help him regain strength, stamina, energy, weight, etc.
And pray that we will stand firm....I must confess this last week has been hard, physically & emotionally--we're at a difficult place; seemingly stagnant and at times even feels we're regressing. It makes me so sad...I just want my husband back! I miss his interaction (with me and others), his enthusiasm for life and mostly his joyful spirit. Some days we are so weary of this battle.
This is our prayer:
"We try to live in such a way that no one will be hindered from finding the Lord by the way we act...In everything we do we try to show that we are true ministers of God. We (try to) patiently endure troubles and hardships and calamaties of every kind...Our hearts ache, but we (strive to) always have joy. We are poor, but we give spiritual riches to others. We own nothing and yet we have everything." 2 Corinthians 6:3, 4 & 10 NLT (emphasis mine)
Much love to you and yours!
First off, one year ago today Ron had another emergency surgery. I remember so clearly being in Ron's room as they were preparing to rush him back down to ICU (still at HEB at this point) because he was having another crash. The tube feed was causing stool to leak into his abdominal cavity which once again caused sepsis. And on top of this, his blood sugar had gotten dangerously low so they were injecting glucose as he was being wheeled to ICU. Pastor Tommy and Danny had just arrived and we asked everyone to stop long enough for us to pray over Ron. Afterwards, one of the nurses' said "we are born again believers, too"! What a sweet encouragement, to have his caregiver's join us in this way.
Dr. E had to clean out his abdominal cavity and in the process also found a very large hematoma in his chest cavity. This chain of events confirmed it would be in Ron's best interest to transfer to Presbyterian, which took place 4 days later.
Now, to catch you up on the last 10 days:
For those of you who talk to my husband, let me tell you (and I say this with the utmost love and respect)...he's trying to be politically correct! (My politically correct way of saying he's a liar!) If you ask him how he's feeling, he'll tell you what you want to hear: "I'm good" "doing well" "getting better", etc. If you want to know the real scoop, ask me!
Reality:
Ron continues to experience extreme fatigue and has been having difficulty sleeping again which doesn't help matters--makes his muscles feel like rubber bands, and keeps his brain in a fog, along with a multitude of other side effects. Last week, sleeping problems were caused by belly being very tight, therefore, he couldn't get comfortable so waking sporadically and then took a while to go back to sleep. Belly tightness had gotten better, but last week he had a very hard sneeze that "felt like it pulled something". Had excruciating pain for about 24 hours, even back to taking hydrocodone for a couple of days (obviously, we had to discontinue PT.)
To me, he seems to have gone backwards. He had been V-E-R-Y S-L-O-W-L-Y progressing but since his last hospital stay in October, he's just never seemed to get back to where he was...then, of course, the wedding was hard on him, as well as Thanksgiving festivities.
Reflux had been somewhat better, but in the last week has gotten really bad again; bringing with it, more regurgitation. And even though his appetite has increased , his weight has not; he has actually lost 4 more pounds, Honestly, I've been a little concerned.
We had an appointment with Dr. A today and he is very concerned with the weight issue in particular; and other issues as well. Therefore, we are adjusting some of his meds. Dr. A wants to once again start the process of slowly decreasing steroid, so I'm on the alert for increased weakness & puny-ness these next few days.
AND, if things don't improve and he doesn't start gaining weight, he'll have to be put back on TPN. Not something any of us (including Dr. A) wants but he cannot continue to go backwards.
Dr. A also thinks he may have thrush in his esophagus, which could be causing the increased reflux, so he's back on the Nystatin (that lovely swish and swallow) for the next 3 days...if it is Thrush, we should see a difference in this amount of time. He also said it's a good thing Ron wasn't still on Lovenox (blood thinner) or the hard sneeze would have caused another huge hematoma. And, now that the pain has gotten better, he wants Ron to start back on physical therapy. He is also increasing antidepressant and wants him sipping on nutritional drinks throughout the day so that he's getting a trickle of protein and other nutrients between regular meals.
Please pray that the combination of all of these changes will help him regain strength, stamina, energy, weight, etc.
And pray that we will stand firm....I must confess this last week has been hard, physically & emotionally--we're at a difficult place; seemingly stagnant and at times even feels we're regressing. It makes me so sad...I just want my husband back! I miss his interaction (with me and others), his enthusiasm for life and mostly his joyful spirit. Some days we are so weary of this battle.
This is our prayer:
"We try to live in such a way that no one will be hindered from finding the Lord by the way we act...In everything we do we try to show that we are true ministers of God. We (try to) patiently endure troubles and hardships and calamaties of every kind...Our hearts ache, but we (strive to) always have joy. We are poor, but we give spiritual riches to others. We own nothing and yet we have everything." 2 Corinthians 6:3, 4 & 10 NLT (emphasis mine)
Much love to you and yours!
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Thanksgiving & stuff or Thanksgiving stuffed?
It's been a nice, quiet week around the Nordell household. I've enjoyed being off of work Wednesday through Sunday and I know Ron has been happy to have me around, as well. His days are usually pretty long, lonely and boring.
Wednesday we had a games night with Ron's Mom & Dad along with Laurie & Tony and their kids. Aaron & Kristin joined us for a while before heading to Abilene to spend Thanksgiving with Kristin's family.
Thanksgiving Day was spent with my sister Debbie and her family, my Dad & Mary Francis, and Ryan & Stacee. Lots of good food, hanging out watching football; and reflecting on how God has blessed us so incredibly throughout this last year. The two day's events really took a toll on Ron and he slept until 1PM Friday. After 11, I started periodically checking to make sure he was still breathing! It was good to have the quiet time to be able to work on the bazillion thank-you notes I'm behind on. I am determined to get them finished by Christmas...but if I leave anyone out, please, please forgive me and know that you are very much appreciated...my list got misplaced and I'm trying to go off of scraps of paper from here, there and everywhere; along with my memory...now that's a scary thought!
Saturday, we were up and out the door early (well, early for Ron) as we headed to Granbury for another day of family fun with my side of the family (minus Tami & her crew who live in Georgia) with the added bonus of our favorite Aunt Jackie, technically my first cousin, once removed; did I get that right, Jackie? She's the geneology buff in the family.
We met at Dad's for a light lunch, then headed to the square where we were treated to Granbury Live's Lone Star Christmas. What a talented group of performers! After a little shopping on the square, we all went to Babe's (restaurant famous for it's southern home-cooked dinner served family-style). Yummy! Ron decided to risk it and go for it all. It was delicious going down....but not so much fun coming back up later. Poor guy! He was miserable with bad stomach cramps by the time we got home. Overall, it had been a good day. It was exhausting on him physically and he slept until 12:45 Sunday, but he thoroughly enjoyed being out with the family.
Tomorrow, we have to get back into routine with better eating and sleeping habits as well as back on schedule with physical therapy twice a day.
Please continue to pray for his body to gain strength, energy and stamina; along with some weight. Even though he is eating more, he continues to lose weight. Not a good thing.
Hope your Thanksgiving was a good one!
PS: Thanksgiving last year it snowed! I remember leaving Harris HEB and running to Deb's to grab a quick bite to eat during shift change and it snowed on me! I was so excited to share it with Ron but the tiny window in his ICU room did not allow him to see it.
Wednesday we had a games night with Ron's Mom & Dad along with Laurie & Tony and their kids. Aaron & Kristin joined us for a while before heading to Abilene to spend Thanksgiving with Kristin's family.
Thanksgiving Day was spent with my sister Debbie and her family, my Dad & Mary Francis, and Ryan & Stacee. Lots of good food, hanging out watching football; and reflecting on how God has blessed us so incredibly throughout this last year. The two day's events really took a toll on Ron and he slept until 1PM Friday. After 11, I started periodically checking to make sure he was still breathing! It was good to have the quiet time to be able to work on the bazillion thank-you notes I'm behind on. I am determined to get them finished by Christmas...but if I leave anyone out, please, please forgive me and know that you are very much appreciated...my list got misplaced and I'm trying to go off of scraps of paper from here, there and everywhere; along with my memory...now that's a scary thought!
Saturday, we were up and out the door early (well, early for Ron) as we headed to Granbury for another day of family fun with my side of the family (minus Tami & her crew who live in Georgia) with the added bonus of our favorite Aunt Jackie, technically my first cousin, once removed; did I get that right, Jackie? She's the geneology buff in the family.
We met at Dad's for a light lunch, then headed to the square where we were treated to Granbury Live's Lone Star Christmas. What a talented group of performers! After a little shopping on the square, we all went to Babe's (restaurant famous for it's southern home-cooked dinner served family-style). Yummy! Ron decided to risk it and go for it all. It was delicious going down....but not so much fun coming back up later. Poor guy! He was miserable with bad stomach cramps by the time we got home. Overall, it had been a good day. It was exhausting on him physically and he slept until 12:45 Sunday, but he thoroughly enjoyed being out with the family.
Tomorrow, we have to get back into routine with better eating and sleeping habits as well as back on schedule with physical therapy twice a day.
Please continue to pray for his body to gain strength, energy and stamina; along with some weight. Even though he is eating more, he continues to lose weight. Not a good thing.
Hope your Thanksgiving was a good one!
PS: Thanksgiving last year it snowed! I remember leaving Harris HEB and running to Deb's to grab a quick bite to eat during shift change and it snowed on me! I was so excited to share it with Ron but the tiny window in his ICU room did not allow him to see it.
The Potter's Hands
This morning as I was reading, this chapter in Jeremiah really hit home with me.
"This is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says to you,...You have said, 'I am overwhelmed with trouble! Haven't I had enough pain already? And now the Lord has added more! I am weary of my own sighing and can find no rest,' ...this is what the Lord says: ... Are you seeking great things for yourself? Don't do it! But don't be discouraged...I will protect you wherever you go. I, the Lord, have spoken!" Jeremiah 45: 2-5 NLT
We often pray to be delivered from afflictions, and even trust God that we will be. But we do not pray for Him to make us what we should be while in the midst of the afflictions. Nor do we pray that we would be able to live within them, for however long they may last, in the complete awareness that we are held and sheltered by the Lord and can therefore continue within them.... from Streams in the Desert (emphasis mine)
Reference note in NIV tells us (again, emphasis mine):
We are to take our eyes off ourself and whatever reward we think we deserve. If we do this, God will protect us. It's easy to lose the joy of serving our God when we take our eyes off Him. The more we look away from God's purposes toward our own sacrifices, the more frustrated we will become. As we serve God, we must beware of focusing on what we are giving up. When this happens, we are to ask God's forgiveness, then redirect our attention to the incomparable privilege of serving God.
These readings reminded me how several weeks ago in church Ron and I both were quite overcome as we sang the following song. This is our prayer; no matter how difficult the process!
"The Potter's Hands"
Beautiful Lord, Wonderful Saviour
I know for sure, all of my days are held in Your hands
Crafted into Your perfect plan
You gently call me, into Your presence
Guiding me by, Your Holy Spirit
Teach me dear Lord
To live all of my life through Your eyes
I'm captured by, Your Holy calling
Set me apart
I know You're drawing me to Yourself
Lead me Lord I pray
Take me, Mold me
Use me, Fill me
I give my life to the Potter's hands
Hold me, Guide me
Lead me, Walk beside me
I give my life to the Potter's hand
Father, help me keep my eyes on YOU for it's a privilege to be called worthy to serve YOU! May I be willing to allow You to mold me and make me into that which brings You honor and glory; always mindful that I am held in the palm of Your hand!
"This is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says to you,...You have said, 'I am overwhelmed with trouble! Haven't I had enough pain already? And now the Lord has added more! I am weary of my own sighing and can find no rest,' ...this is what the Lord says: ... Are you seeking great things for yourself? Don't do it! But don't be discouraged...I will protect you wherever you go. I, the Lord, have spoken!" Jeremiah 45: 2-5 NLT
We often pray to be delivered from afflictions, and even trust God that we will be. But we do not pray for Him to make us what we should be while in the midst of the afflictions. Nor do we pray that we would be able to live within them, for however long they may last, in the complete awareness that we are held and sheltered by the Lord and can therefore continue within them.... from Streams in the Desert (emphasis mine)
Reference note in NIV tells us (again, emphasis mine):
We are to take our eyes off ourself and whatever reward we think we deserve. If we do this, God will protect us. It's easy to lose the joy of serving our God when we take our eyes off Him. The more we look away from God's purposes toward our own sacrifices, the more frustrated we will become. As we serve God, we must beware of focusing on what we are giving up. When this happens, we are to ask God's forgiveness, then redirect our attention to the incomparable privilege of serving God.
These readings reminded me how several weeks ago in church Ron and I both were quite overcome as we sang the following song. This is our prayer; no matter how difficult the process!
"The Potter's Hands"
Beautiful Lord, Wonderful Saviour
I know for sure, all of my days are held in Your hands
Crafted into Your perfect plan
You gently call me, into Your presence
Guiding me by, Your Holy Spirit
Teach me dear Lord
To live all of my life through Your eyes
I'm captured by, Your Holy calling
Set me apart
I know You're drawing me to Yourself
Lead me Lord I pray
Take me, Mold me
Use me, Fill me
I give my life to the Potter's hands
Hold me, Guide me
Lead me, Walk beside me
I give my life to the Potter's hand
Father, help me keep my eyes on YOU for it's a privilege to be called worthy to serve YOU! May I be willing to allow You to mold me and make me into that which brings You honor and glory; always mindful that I am held in the palm of Your hand!
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Thankful....for YOU!
We couldn't let Thanksgiving pass without taking the opportunity to say how thankful we are for each of you!
God has blessed us incredibly through you and we are who we are, where we are, because of you! Your love, encouragement, financial support and, most of all, your prayers, are invaluable!
Happy Thanksgiving!
Much love,
Christie & Ron
God has blessed us incredibly through you and we are who we are, where we are, because of you! Your love, encouragement, financial support and, most of all, your prayers, are invaluable!
Happy Thanksgiving!
Much love,
Christie & Ron
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Blessed be Your Name
I always have such good intentions to update more often but now that we are flying solo (permanently) my plate is extremely full!
Good and not-so good to report this week:
Good
Good and not-so good to report this week:
Good
- Appetite has definitely increased! Ron is now eating full size portions at mealtimes and often asking for seconds! It was music to my ears to hear him say "I'm hungry"!
- Tremoring has definitely decreased.
- Sleep cycle is much improved.
- Has had no pain meds in two weeks!!!
- Reflux and regurgitation has greatly improved...only puking about once or twice a week!
Not so good
- still having great difficulty with weakness & lethargy, energy, strength, stamina
- very down and lacking in motivation
- continued "brain fog" (you know when you have the flu and you just feel like you can't concentrate or focus on anything)
There are days that his actions remind me of how I felt for so long as I was in the acute stages of my illness; hardly able to drag myself from bed to chair, extremely tired after a simple shower, neglecting to eat because it just takes too much energy to deal with; it's been a rough week for him. It's especially hard for me to see him this way and to have to go to work each day; I so want to be home with him to help him through this rough time. But we have to trust that God knows what's going on; and I definitely have to work...gotta have that paycheck and insurance!
Then, there are times I almost feel guilty that I get to go off to work, escape all of this and feel like life is normal. Other days I just want to pack it all up, get on a plane and head to some beach, some where! Of course, in this state of delusion, Ron is with me and we are able to enjoy a carefree life with no restrictions; just relax, hang out, live off our love and the land! HA!! But then, back to the fact he can't ever escape reality.
Dr. A had wanted Ron to start physical therapy last week but he was adamant we could not afford it and that we would get Ryan and Stacee to set him up a plan after they returned from their honeymoon. I felt it would be great to have him have to be accountable to someone else and that might motivate him a little more but definitely agree with the wisdom of not having to pay for it.
So tonight, we had a house call from newlywed Dr.'s Ryan and Stacee Nordell! It was so fun to watch them in action! They did a PT evaluation and have set him up on a daily therapy schedule. It will be very hard on him at first, his body is not used to the physical activity and he'll be doing "two a days" to help develop endurance and stamina; working on building strength and stretching out those muscles that have become so deconditioned, as well as breaking up scar tissue that has hardened and "scarred down". I'm sure he'll be napping more as his body adjusts to all this physical activity.
We've also begun looking into the process of seeing if Ron qualifies for Social Security disability benefits...so far, it does not look very promising but we'll continue to search to see if there is a way.
No one is willing to guess at any kind of timeline as to when he will once again be employable; however, we do know that he will not be able to return to the physical labor side of the business we own. Right now the business is struggling along--able to cover most of the cost of running it along with paying our one employee but not able to afford us a paycheck. We know God will continue to provide for our every need; but we struggle to keep our thoughts from becoming anxious.
Over the past couple of weeks we've surprassed the year mark of many memorable dates : November 4 being given a very grim prognosis and praying the boys would make it home in time to see their Dad one last time. November 6 miraculously Ron pulled through and survived then underwent another surgery with a high mortality rate to contain bleeding and do damage control. November 17, another "dying spell" and urgent phone call to Ryan in Florida to catch the next flight home. Through it all, God has remained our Rock, our Strength, our Hope, our ever present Help in times of need, as well as our Song.
As we look back on this last year we have so very much to be thankful for; including you, our faithful prayer warriors! Thank you, for standing in the gap, faithfully bringing our needs to the Father as well as providing for us physically, spiritually, emotionally, and financially. We are very blessed because of you! And thanks for being willing listeners as you indulge me as I use these ramblings as my therapy session!
Life is often hard; but God is ALWAYS GOOD!
Christie
The following song has been on my heart and in my head for the last couple of weeks. And then, we sang it in church this morning. These lyrics are very fitting and really speak to me.
Blessed be Your name; In the land that is plentiful; Where the streams of abundance flow; Blessed be Your name
Blessed be Your name; When I'm found in the desert place; Though I walk through the wilderness; Blessed be Your name
Every blessing You pour out, I turn back to praise; When the darkness closes in, Lord; Still I will say...
Blessed be the name of the Lord; Blessed be Your name; Blessed be the name of the Lord; Blessed be Your glorious name
Blessed be Your name; When the sun's shining down on me; When the world's all as it should be; Blessed be Your name
Blessed be Your name; On the road marked with suffering; Though there's pain in the offering; Blessed be Your name
Every blessing You pour out, I turn back to praise; When the darkness closes in, Lord; Still I will say...
Blessed be the name of the Lord; Blessed be Your name; Blessed be the name of the Lord; Blessed be Your glorious name
You give and take away; You give and take away; My heart will choose to say; Lord, Blessed be Your name
Saturday, November 15, 2008
"Wrestling" Ramblings....
“Jacob wrestled with God” is the title to a section of verses in Genesis 32
I’ve always struggled with this idea… It almost seems sacrilegious to think of Jacob physically fighting God. My thoughts scream "How dare Jacob wrestle (fight!) with God?"
And today, as I read again this section in Genesis, I thought how vain of me to think I’m so holy; that I would passively, willingly accept whatever God had in store…my pride (oh, how I hate that word!) made me think I would never be so bold as to question God in such a physical way!
Yet, how often do I wrestle with God…pleading with Him to find another way to accomplish His will?
I remember vividly November 4, 2008, begging, pleading; bargaining with God. Telling Him if it was His will for Ron to die, I knew He would make sure we were ok; but I didn’t want this to be His will! I wanted to grow old with Ron; experience the joys of life... family, grandkids,
retirement…together!
But in essence, hadn’t I fought with God? Yes, I know His plan will always prevail…I can choose to submit to it and receive the blessing or fight it, knowing His plan will still come about; difference is I’m the one who loses the blessing. Yet, I also know He wants me to be passionate and fervent in my prayers! So, how does this fit together???
Throughout the Bible we read stories of people “wrestling” with God:
Abraham begged God to spare Sodom and Gomorrah even if “only ten innocent people are found there.”
Moses pleaded on behalf of the Israelites—even after they had made an idol while he was on the mountain with God receiving His instructions for His people.
Jonah ran from God and ended up in the belly of a whale! He didn’t want to go and preach God’s word because he “knew” God would change His mind once the Ninevites repented.
Even Jesus asked His Father if there was any other way this “cup” could pass
How does this all fit together? I suppose the key is obedience; He understands our desire to avoid suffering and honors our obedience to follow His will, whatever the cost.
Reference in Life Application Study Bible (NIV) says “Jacob continued this wrestling match all night just to be blessed. He was persistent. God encourages persistence in all areas of our lives, including the spiritual. Where in your life do you need more persistence? Strong character develops as you struggle through tough conditions.”
Hmmmm.....
I’ve always struggled with this idea… It almost seems sacrilegious to think of Jacob physically fighting God. My thoughts scream "How dare Jacob wrestle (fight!) with God?"
And today, as I read again this section in Genesis, I thought how vain of me to think I’m so holy; that I would passively, willingly accept whatever God had in store…my pride (oh, how I hate that word!) made me think I would never be so bold as to question God in such a physical way!
Yet, how often do I wrestle with God…pleading with Him to find another way to accomplish His will?
I remember vividly November 4, 2008, begging, pleading; bargaining with God. Telling Him if it was His will for Ron to die, I knew He would make sure we were ok; but I didn’t want this to be His will! I wanted to grow old with Ron; experience the joys of life... family, grandkids,
retirement…together!
But in essence, hadn’t I fought with God? Yes, I know His plan will always prevail…I can choose to submit to it and receive the blessing or fight it, knowing His plan will still come about; difference is I’m the one who loses the blessing. Yet, I also know He wants me to be passionate and fervent in my prayers! So, how does this fit together???
Throughout the Bible we read stories of people “wrestling” with God:
Abraham begged God to spare Sodom and Gomorrah even if “only ten innocent people are found there.”
Moses pleaded on behalf of the Israelites—even after they had made an idol while he was on the mountain with God receiving His instructions for His people.
Jonah ran from God and ended up in the belly of a whale! He didn’t want to go and preach God’s word because he “knew” God would change His mind once the Ninevites repented.
Even Jesus asked His Father if there was any other way this “cup” could pass
How does this all fit together? I suppose the key is obedience; He understands our desire to avoid suffering and honors our obedience to follow His will, whatever the cost.
Reference in Life Application Study Bible (NIV) says “Jacob continued this wrestling match all night just to be blessed. He was persistent. God encourages persistence in all areas of our lives, including the spiritual. Where in your life do you need more persistence? Strong character develops as you struggle through tough conditions.”
Hmmmm.....
Free at last!!!!
After 12 months and 26 days (but who's counting, right?) Ron is officially free of all medical paraphernalia! Yes, he's totally tubeless! Hallelujah, PICC line has been removed...thank you, Dr. A! Joy of all joys...he can now shower any time he wants (ah, the small things we take for granted)! No more timing showers around someone being available to wrap his arm to protect PICC line; and no more daily flushes....Praise GOD! AND, home health services have been discontinued , which means no more weekly blood draws; down to just monthly doctor appointments. Things are S-L-O-W-L-Y progressing, but it is progress! Can I get an AMEN???
Although this has been a very rough week for him--not sure if it's just taking a long time to recuperate from our very busy wedding weekend or what. We have several issues we are dealing with:
Although this has been a very rough week for him--not sure if it's just taking a long time to recuperate from our very busy wedding weekend or what. We have several issues we are dealing with:
- very lethargic...no energy, stamina or motivation
- feels like he's always in a "brain fog".
- continues to have trouble getting enough nutritional value in the foods he is able to eat therefore is still losing weight (down to 172).
- having great difficulty sleeping at night.
After much deliberating, decision was made to put him on a low-dose antidepressant; we don't necessarily feel he is "depressed" but a medication that has properties that will act as an appetite stimulant and will also help adjust his sleep cycle. We are also focusing on making sure he is eating many small portions a day that are packed with nutrition, as well as encouraging some exercise several times throughout the day by walking. The hope is that once he is eating more often, walking more and getting uninterrupted sleep, he will begin to regain stamina and energy as well as the motivation to try to do more. It's a catch 22...he needs to walk to improve his stamina but doesn't feel he has the energy to get out and walk.
We are also trying to work on ways to improve his muscle tone, strength and posture. Because of the repeated abdominal surgeries, he has no abdominal musculature since it was too fragile to heal together any longer. Basically, the only thing keeping him upright is his spine, which obviously causes a lot of stress on his back. And as the scar tissue in his belly continues to heal, it draws him even further forward into a stooped position. He literally has to work on "tearing" the scar tissue, keeping it from "scarring down". As part of that process, he has to massage Vitamin E oil onto his belly while pushing on the scar tissue to help break it up; not a fun belly rub! He is also to work on stretching his belly, as well as strengthening his back and side muscles to compensate for the lack of abdominal muscle. A lot to work on for a guy who has no energy and just feels crummy all of the time.
Please pray he will soon be able to feel the progress. I have to confess, it's been especially hard emotionally for both of us these last few days. Not sure why....we're thrilled with getting the PICC line out and that he's at a point they feel he no longer needs home health but I guess at this stage of the game, we thought he'd be "feeling" better. At times, we just so weary of the battle! I know we should be thankful for all the progress he has made and how far he has come in this last year and believe me we ARE....and we never take for granted how God has blessed. It's just BEEN SO LONG and we are so ready...... But then, I'm reminded we are to live in today....not always wishing for tomorrow but be thankful for where we are and what God is doing NOW!
Thanks for joining us in the journey!
Christie
"I have singled him out so that he will direct his sons and their families to keep the way of the Lord and do what is right and just. Then I will do for him all that I have promised" Genesis 18:19
God knows that you can withstand your trial, or else He would not have given it to you. His trust in you explains the trials of your life, no matter how severe they may be. God knows your strength, and He measures it to the last inch. Remember, no trial has ever been given to anyone that was greater than that person's strength, THROUGH GOD, to endure it.
From Streams in the Desert
"If you think you are standing strong, be careful, for you, too, may fall...But remember that the temptations that come into your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will keep the temptation from becoming so strong that you can't stand up against it. When you are tempted, He will show you a way out so that you will not give in to it."
I Corinthians 10:31
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