Sunday, November 30, 2008
Thanksgiving & stuff or Thanksgiving stuffed?
Wednesday we had a games night with Ron's Mom & Dad along with Laurie & Tony and their kids. Aaron & Kristin joined us for a while before heading to Abilene to spend Thanksgiving with Kristin's family.
Thanksgiving Day was spent with my sister Debbie and her family, my Dad & Mary Francis, and Ryan & Stacee. Lots of good food, hanging out watching football; and reflecting on how God has blessed us so incredibly throughout this last year. The two day's events really took a toll on Ron and he slept until 1PM Friday. After 11, I started periodically checking to make sure he was still breathing! It was good to have the quiet time to be able to work on the bazillion thank-you notes I'm behind on. I am determined to get them finished by Christmas...but if I leave anyone out, please, please forgive me and know that you are very much appreciated...my list got misplaced and I'm trying to go off of scraps of paper from here, there and everywhere; along with my memory...now that's a scary thought!
Saturday, we were up and out the door early (well, early for Ron) as we headed to Granbury for another day of family fun with my side of the family (minus Tami & her crew who live in Georgia) with the added bonus of our favorite Aunt Jackie, technically my first cousin, once removed; did I get that right, Jackie? She's the geneology buff in the family.
We met at Dad's for a light lunch, then headed to the square where we were treated to Granbury Live's Lone Star Christmas. What a talented group of performers! After a little shopping on the square, we all went to Babe's (restaurant famous for it's southern home-cooked dinner served family-style). Yummy! Ron decided to risk it and go for it all. It was delicious going down....but not so much fun coming back up later. Poor guy! He was miserable with bad stomach cramps by the time we got home. Overall, it had been a good day. It was exhausting on him physically and he slept until 12:45 Sunday, but he thoroughly enjoyed being out with the family.
Tomorrow, we have to get back into routine with better eating and sleeping habits as well as back on schedule with physical therapy twice a day.
Please continue to pray for his body to gain strength, energy and stamina; along with some weight. Even though he is eating more, he continues to lose weight. Not a good thing.
Hope your Thanksgiving was a good one!
PS: Thanksgiving last year it snowed! I remember leaving Harris HEB and running to Deb's to grab a quick bite to eat during shift change and it snowed on me! I was so excited to share it with Ron but the tiny window in his ICU room did not allow him to see it.
The Potter's Hands
"This is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says to you,...You have said, 'I am overwhelmed with trouble! Haven't I had enough pain already? And now the Lord has added more! I am weary of my own sighing and can find no rest,' ...this is what the Lord says: ... Are you seeking great things for yourself? Don't do it! But don't be discouraged...I will protect you wherever you go. I, the Lord, have spoken!" Jeremiah 45: 2-5 NLT
We often pray to be delivered from afflictions, and even trust God that we will be. But we do not pray for Him to make us what we should be while in the midst of the afflictions. Nor do we pray that we would be able to live within them, for however long they may last, in the complete awareness that we are held and sheltered by the Lord and can therefore continue within them.... from Streams in the Desert (emphasis mine)
Reference note in NIV tells us (again, emphasis mine):
We are to take our eyes off ourself and whatever reward we think we deserve. If we do this, God will protect us. It's easy to lose the joy of serving our God when we take our eyes off Him. The more we look away from God's purposes toward our own sacrifices, the more frustrated we will become. As we serve God, we must beware of focusing on what we are giving up. When this happens, we are to ask God's forgiveness, then redirect our attention to the incomparable privilege of serving God.
These readings reminded me how several weeks ago in church Ron and I both were quite overcome as we sang the following song. This is our prayer; no matter how difficult the process!
"The Potter's Hands"
Beautiful Lord, Wonderful Saviour
I know for sure, all of my days are held in Your hands
Crafted into Your perfect plan
You gently call me, into Your presence
Guiding me by, Your Holy Spirit
Teach me dear Lord
To live all of my life through Your eyes
I'm captured by, Your Holy calling
Set me apart
I know You're drawing me to Yourself
Lead me Lord I pray
Take me, Mold me
Use me, Fill me
I give my life to the Potter's hands
Hold me, Guide me
Lead me, Walk beside me
I give my life to the Potter's hand
Father, help me keep my eyes on YOU for it's a privilege to be called worthy to serve YOU! May I be willing to allow You to mold me and make me into that which brings You honor and glory; always mindful that I am held in the palm of Your hand!
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Thankful....for YOU!
God has blessed us incredibly through you and we are who we are, where we are, because of you! Your love, encouragement, financial support and, most of all, your prayers, are invaluable!
Happy Thanksgiving!
Much love,
Christie & Ron
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Blessed be Your Name
Good and not-so good to report this week:
Good
- Appetite has definitely increased! Ron is now eating full size portions at mealtimes and often asking for seconds! It was music to my ears to hear him say "I'm hungry"!
- Tremoring has definitely decreased.
- Sleep cycle is much improved.
- Has had no pain meds in two weeks!!!
- Reflux and regurgitation has greatly improved...only puking about once or twice a week!
Not so good
- still having great difficulty with weakness & lethargy, energy, strength, stamina
- very down and lacking in motivation
- continued "brain fog" (you know when you have the flu and you just feel like you can't concentrate or focus on anything)
There are days that his actions remind me of how I felt for so long as I was in the acute stages of my illness; hardly able to drag myself from bed to chair, extremely tired after a simple shower, neglecting to eat because it just takes too much energy to deal with; it's been a rough week for him. It's especially hard for me to see him this way and to have to go to work each day; I so want to be home with him to help him through this rough time. But we have to trust that God knows what's going on; and I definitely have to work...gotta have that paycheck and insurance!
Then, there are times I almost feel guilty that I get to go off to work, escape all of this and feel like life is normal. Other days I just want to pack it all up, get on a plane and head to some beach, some where! Of course, in this state of delusion, Ron is with me and we are able to enjoy a carefree life with no restrictions; just relax, hang out, live off our love and the land! HA!! But then, back to the fact he can't ever escape reality.
Dr. A had wanted Ron to start physical therapy last week but he was adamant we could not afford it and that we would get Ryan and Stacee to set him up a plan after they returned from their honeymoon. I felt it would be great to have him have to be accountable to someone else and that might motivate him a little more but definitely agree with the wisdom of not having to pay for it.
So tonight, we had a house call from newlywed Dr.'s Ryan and Stacee Nordell! It was so fun to watch them in action! They did a PT evaluation and have set him up on a daily therapy schedule. It will be very hard on him at first, his body is not used to the physical activity and he'll be doing "two a days" to help develop endurance and stamina; working on building strength and stretching out those muscles that have become so deconditioned, as well as breaking up scar tissue that has hardened and "scarred down". I'm sure he'll be napping more as his body adjusts to all this physical activity.
We've also begun looking into the process of seeing if Ron qualifies for Social Security disability benefits...so far, it does not look very promising but we'll continue to search to see if there is a way.
No one is willing to guess at any kind of timeline as to when he will once again be employable; however, we do know that he will not be able to return to the physical labor side of the business we own. Right now the business is struggling along--able to cover most of the cost of running it along with paying our one employee but not able to afford us a paycheck. We know God will continue to provide for our every need; but we struggle to keep our thoughts from becoming anxious.
Over the past couple of weeks we've surprassed the year mark of many memorable dates : November 4 being given a very grim prognosis and praying the boys would make it home in time to see their Dad one last time. November 6 miraculously Ron pulled through and survived then underwent another surgery with a high mortality rate to contain bleeding and do damage control. November 17, another "dying spell" and urgent phone call to Ryan in Florida to catch the next flight home. Through it all, God has remained our Rock, our Strength, our Hope, our ever present Help in times of need, as well as our Song.
As we look back on this last year we have so very much to be thankful for; including you, our faithful prayer warriors! Thank you, for standing in the gap, faithfully bringing our needs to the Father as well as providing for us physically, spiritually, emotionally, and financially. We are very blessed because of you! And thanks for being willing listeners as you indulge me as I use these ramblings as my therapy session!
Life is often hard; but God is ALWAYS GOOD!
Christie
The following song has been on my heart and in my head for the last couple of weeks. And then, we sang it in church this morning. These lyrics are very fitting and really speak to me.
Blessed be Your name; In the land that is plentiful; Where the streams of abundance flow; Blessed be Your name
Blessed be Your name; When I'm found in the desert place; Though I walk through the wilderness; Blessed be Your name
Every blessing You pour out, I turn back to praise; When the darkness closes in, Lord; Still I will say...
Blessed be the name of the Lord; Blessed be Your name; Blessed be the name of the Lord; Blessed be Your glorious name
Blessed be Your name; When the sun's shining down on me; When the world's all as it should be; Blessed be Your name
Blessed be Your name; On the road marked with suffering; Though there's pain in the offering; Blessed be Your name
Every blessing You pour out, I turn back to praise; When the darkness closes in, Lord; Still I will say...
Blessed be the name of the Lord; Blessed be Your name; Blessed be the name of the Lord; Blessed be Your glorious name
You give and take away; You give and take away; My heart will choose to say; Lord, Blessed be Your name
Saturday, November 15, 2008
"Wrestling" Ramblings....
I’ve always struggled with this idea… It almost seems sacrilegious to think of Jacob physically fighting God. My thoughts scream "How dare Jacob wrestle (fight!) with God?"
And today, as I read again this section in Genesis, I thought how vain of me to think I’m so holy; that I would passively, willingly accept whatever God had in store…my pride (oh, how I hate that word!) made me think I would never be so bold as to question God in such a physical way!
Yet, how often do I wrestle with God…pleading with Him to find another way to accomplish His will?
I remember vividly November 4, 2008, begging, pleading; bargaining with God. Telling Him if it was His will for Ron to die, I knew He would make sure we were ok; but I didn’t want this to be His will! I wanted to grow old with Ron; experience the joys of life... family, grandkids,
retirement…together!
But in essence, hadn’t I fought with God? Yes, I know His plan will always prevail…I can choose to submit to it and receive the blessing or fight it, knowing His plan will still come about; difference is I’m the one who loses the blessing. Yet, I also know He wants me to be passionate and fervent in my prayers! So, how does this fit together???
Throughout the Bible we read stories of people “wrestling” with God:
Abraham begged God to spare Sodom and Gomorrah even if “only ten innocent people are found there.”
Moses pleaded on behalf of the Israelites—even after they had made an idol while he was on the mountain with God receiving His instructions for His people.
Jonah ran from God and ended up in the belly of a whale! He didn’t want to go and preach God’s word because he “knew” God would change His mind once the Ninevites repented.
Even Jesus asked His Father if there was any other way this “cup” could pass
How does this all fit together? I suppose the key is obedience; He understands our desire to avoid suffering and honors our obedience to follow His will, whatever the cost.
Reference in Life Application Study Bible (NIV) says “Jacob continued this wrestling match all night just to be blessed. He was persistent. God encourages persistence in all areas of our lives, including the spiritual. Where in your life do you need more persistence? Strong character develops as you struggle through tough conditions.”
Hmmmm.....
Free at last!!!!
Although this has been a very rough week for him--not sure if it's just taking a long time to recuperate from our very busy wedding weekend or what. We have several issues we are dealing with:
- very lethargic...no energy, stamina or motivation
- feels like he's always in a "brain fog".
- continues to have trouble getting enough nutritional value in the foods he is able to eat therefore is still losing weight (down to 172).
- having great difficulty sleeping at night.
After much deliberating, decision was made to put him on a low-dose antidepressant; we don't necessarily feel he is "depressed" but a medication that has properties that will act as an appetite stimulant and will also help adjust his sleep cycle. We are also focusing on making sure he is eating many small portions a day that are packed with nutrition, as well as encouraging some exercise several times throughout the day by walking. The hope is that once he is eating more often, walking more and getting uninterrupted sleep, he will begin to regain stamina and energy as well as the motivation to try to do more. It's a catch 22...he needs to walk to improve his stamina but doesn't feel he has the energy to get out and walk.
We are also trying to work on ways to improve his muscle tone, strength and posture. Because of the repeated abdominal surgeries, he has no abdominal musculature since it was too fragile to heal together any longer. Basically, the only thing keeping him upright is his spine, which obviously causes a lot of stress on his back. And as the scar tissue in his belly continues to heal, it draws him even further forward into a stooped position. He literally has to work on "tearing" the scar tissue, keeping it from "scarring down". As part of that process, he has to massage Vitamin E oil onto his belly while pushing on the scar tissue to help break it up; not a fun belly rub! He is also to work on stretching his belly, as well as strengthening his back and side muscles to compensate for the lack of abdominal muscle. A lot to work on for a guy who has no energy and just feels crummy all of the time.
Please pray he will soon be able to feel the progress. I have to confess, it's been especially hard emotionally for both of us these last few days. Not sure why....we're thrilled with getting the PICC line out and that he's at a point they feel he no longer needs home health but I guess at this stage of the game, we thought he'd be "feeling" better. At times, we just so weary of the battle! I know we should be thankful for all the progress he has made and how far he has come in this last year and believe me we ARE....and we never take for granted how God has blessed. It's just BEEN SO LONG and we are so ready...... But then, I'm reminded we are to live in today....not always wishing for tomorrow but be thankful for where we are and what God is doing NOW!
Thanks for joining us in the journey!
Christie
"I have singled him out so that he will direct his sons and their families to keep the way of the Lord and do what is right and just. Then I will do for him all that I have promised" Genesis 18:19
God knows that you can withstand your trial, or else He would not have given it to you. His trust in you explains the trials of your life, no matter how severe they may be. God knows your strength, and He measures it to the last inch. Remember, no trial has ever been given to anyone that was greater than that person's strength, THROUGH GOD, to endure it.
From Streams in the Desert
"If you think you are standing strong, be careful, for you, too, may fall...But remember that the temptations that come into your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will keep the temptation from becoming so strong that you can't stand up against it. When you are tempted, He will show you a way out so that you will not give in to it."
I Corinthians 10:31
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Beautiful Day for a Wedding!
So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, He took one of the man’s ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib He had taken out of the man and He brought her to the man. The man said, ‘This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called woman for she was taken out of man.’ For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” Genesis 2:21-24
Monday, November 10, 2008
The celebration begins!
And, we were able to pull off the surprise; Jeremy came waltzing in to the rehearsal dinner and when Ryan saw him the tears started flowing all around! It was great...thanks, Jer for putting forth the effort to share in this very special time! And Julie, for your willingness to share him with us even though you and the boys had to stay in Greece! Love you guys so much!!!
Thursday, November 6, 2008
And the relatives came....
Wow! We are so blessed to have such a great family. I am amazed at how many have made the sacrifice to come to the wedding.
- Bill, Lori, and Eric Bixler (Ron's cousins) - New Jersey & Kim (Bill & Lori's daughter) - Michigan
- Joan Jaggard (Ron's cousin) - New Jersey
- Jeremy (cousin) - Athens, Greece!
- Davis & Ashley (cousins) - New Mexico
- Tami, Ron, Morgan and Austin (aunt, uncle & cousins) - Georgia
- Groomsmen & Usher: Joe & Chris - Oklahoma; Jake - Kansas
Stacee's:
- Mom & Jack - Florida
- Grandpa & Uncle Frank - Florida
- Uncle Vincent - New York
- Cousin Connie - Alabama
- Aunt Lourdes and family - California
- Bridesmaid's: Kristen, Stephanie, Geraldine, Angela - Florida
As well as many other family members from all over Texas! It is especially meaningful to have Jeremy here from Greece. Jeremy and Ryan have a very special relationship; he has been such a great spiritual mentor and friend throughout Ryan's life and Ryan does not know he will be here; so, mum's the word! We will greatly miss having Julie and the boys but appreciate the fact Jeremy could represent them!
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Same time last year...
Thank you, dear ones; we love and appreciate you and could not have come this far without you! I'll try to get out an update and some reflections soon...although it probably won't be until next week, after the wedding!
Much love,
Christie
Sunday, November 2, 2008
JOY amidst circumstances
And I must confess, Wednesday was an especially rough one. We've been exceptionally weary of this seemingly endless battle, Ron in particular. I can't imagine how hard it is on him, wanting so desperately to be fully recovered and feeling like it will never happen. But, GOD IS FAITHFUL! One of the devotionals I use each day is Proverbs 31 Devotionals (an online subscription) and I believe Wednesday's devotion was written especially for us! (red & white highlights mine)
Keeping Our Joy
Micca Campbell
“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” John 10:10 (NIV)
Devotion:
“Please pray for my fifteen-year-old daughter. She’s pregnant.”
This godly woman has loved and served God in her home, church, and community for years. Now, she does nothing. Ashamed, she blames herself for her child’s choices, and because of them, considers herself unworthy to serve. Not only has this woman allowed her situation to steal her peace and joy, but her service too.
Many Christians fall into this same trap. They allow the enemy to rob them of their peace, steal their joy, and kill their witness over situations beyond their control.
It’s true. Satan has always been a tempter, but where he catches us off guard is by thinking he tempts us to do bad things. Our flesh mostly takes care of that job. The fact is Satan tempts us in order to lose what God has given us.
If Satan can rob our joy and steal our witness, then he makes us useless in the kingdom of God . Just like this mother, we become unproductive when our faith is stripped by unexpected heartbreak. Nevertheless, you and I must not let Satan use our circumstances to steal our joy.
That sounds good, but how do we find true joy in the midst of heartache? We find it by depending on the Lord. David reminds us, “The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song” (Ps 28:7).
First, David believed God heard his cries. Second, he relied on God’s provision and strength. Third, David trusted in God’s help with all of his heart. This kept him from growing weak, losing heart, and giving up. Finally, because David believed God was for him, in him, with him, and behind him one hundred percent, David was able to give thanks with a joyful heart.
Like David and this mother I spoke with, we will experience situations that can steal our joy and leave us feeling unworthy to serve. To think this way is to see ourselves outside of God’s grace. You and I don’t serve God because we are good enough. We serve God because He’s good enough. It’s His perfection working through our imperfections.
By the same token, our joy is not defined by our circumstances. It’s based on our relationship with God who, in due time, will bring us out of our present situation.
Exercising faith in God - not circumstances - aids the discouraged heart so that Satan cannot steal our joy or our purpose.
Dear Lord, Today I refuse to let Satan steal my joy. I long for the fullness of life that You have given me. As I trust You in my present situation, I also trust You to restore my peace and joy. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
Related Resources:
Do You Know Him?
Hidden Joy in a Dark Corner by Wendy Blight, pre-order yours today!
Hope in the Midst of Depression by Mary Southerland
Visit Micca Campbell’s blog
Application Steps:
Using David as an example, follow his steps found in Psalm 28:7 …
1. Cry out to God.
2. Rely on His provision and strength.
3. Believe in and wait on His help.
4. Praise Him with a joyful heart.
Reflections:
Has Satan stolen your joy?
How has this affected your witness; your life; and your service to the kingdom?
Power Verses:
Nehemiah 8:10b, “Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength" (NIV)
I cannot begin to tell you how this devotional ministered to us. What a great reminder of how we must always be on guard against the enemy, but more importantly of the hope we have in Christ even in the midst of our circumstances!
Much love,
Christie
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