“You do not realize now what I am doing but later you will understand.” John 13:7
Late each spring, our church is usually gearing up to staff departments for the following year of Sunday Morning Bible Study (which begins in September). We are asked to pray about our current position and to commit to whether or not we are planning to return to that position. In the spring of 2007, Ron and I both filled out our cards committing to continue our work with high school seniors. We had been working in the student ministry for almost 10 years with the last 5 of that being with senior high school students. We feel God called us to minister to this age in particular, to help prepare these students for life after high school; whatever that may look like and loved this ministry and those students God placed in our lives.
Throughout that summer, I kept feeling maybe I wasn’t supposed to be working with seniors this year. Although I didn’t really have a definitive place I felt God calling me to, just a sense that He wanted me to be available; willing to trust Him. I voiced this to Ron a couple of times but he assured me he felt God placed us in this ministry together as a couple. I still wasn’t sure what God wanted me to do, but felt He had something else in mind.
The first few weeks of school for any school employee are always difficult, tiring; but the beginning of the 2007 school year was especially rough for me. I spent each weekend of the first 6 weeks of school in bed, exhausted; unable to participate in the new Bible Study year. Little did I know God was preparing me both physically, emotionally and spiritually for the next 14+ months of hospital stays and “dying spells”!
As many of you know for many years I suffered from chronic Epstein-Barr virus, a difficult disease to live with both physically and emotionally. EBV is the same virus that causes mononucleosis and is attributed to Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. It causes debilitating fatigue and muscle weakness, as well as a host of other symptoms. I was diagnosed with EBV in the fall of 2003 at which time I was so exhausted I had to take an extended leave from work and was only able to work part-time for the next year and a half. When I was finally able to return to work full time, I had to spend my weekends in bed sleeping, recuperating; physically preparing my body for the next week of work. Over the last several years, I have progressed a great deal, but still must carefully monitor my expended energy, balancing with a lot of rest.
As I learned to live with EBV, there were extended periods of time that all I could do was sleep, eat and rest. As I was often confined to bed, I spent a great deal of time in God’s word. His comfort, strength, and peace washing over me became my lifeline; oh, how I clung to His promises!
It’s amazing that throughout Ron’s many hospital stays, I have remained healthy. Yes, I’ve had a few times where I needed to spend the day in bed sleeping, resting; and there have been days that my muscles have been exceptionally weak, tired, achy and I just don't see how we can take any more. But God is sufficient and always provides times of rest, strength and the perseverance to deal with whatever comes up each day. His provision of my hotel room at Presbyterian is nothing short of a miracle! I cannot imagine how I would have managed if I had had to make the trek from home to hospital each day.
I now see God allowed me to experience this difficult time to allow me to empathize with Ron; to really understand the extreme fatigue/exhaustion, muscle weakness and other similar issues. And He used those years of solitude and immersion in His word to prepare me to handle the turmoil and trials of this last year with confidence, faith and hope that comes from knowing Him intimately and having experienced He is faithful to His promises and worthy of our trust.
God promises His grace is sufficient; and we can certainly attest to this truth!
Happy New Year!
"(We) pray for you constantly, asking God, the glorious Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, to give you spiritual wisdom and understanding, so that you might grow in your knowledge of God. (We) pray that your hearts will be flooded with light so that you can understand the wonderful future He has promised to those He called. (We) want you to realize what a rich and glorious inheritance He has given to His people. We pray that you will begin to understand the incredible greatness of His power for us who believe Him" Ephesians 1:16b-19 New Living Translation
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